Peer reviewing: then and now

I refereed two papers this week. I think that between the commentary we wrote for our meeting session and the research paper I have in press, I got integrated into the publishers' systems, and associated with certain keywords; neither paper was passed to me by my adviser, rather I was asked to review directly by the subject editors.

In contrast to my earlier experiences as a reviewer, these went really well. Both papers were fairly straight forward and right up my alley, with nothing that I felt was outside my expertise. I think that the growth I attained through writing my dissertation made me feel much more equipped to critically read these papers. Moreover, both papers were really good. The combination of nice manuscripts with my defense-enhanced confidence made doing the reviews something of a pleasure instead of the anxiety-filled example of impostor syndrome that I felt when writing reviews in the past.

That's nice.

Ahhhh

Well, I am happy to report that post-defense life is great. I feel like my shoulders just, like, dropped and released all this tension. I've been half-heartedly working -- enjoying myself but not getting much accomplished. In addition, I've been really on top of all the other life stuff that I've been ignoring, like signing up for temporary health insurance, getting my car emissions test, etc. Just a couple of days left before I go to my home town for BFF's graduation party (master's degree - yay BFF!) and two weeks with the fam. I'm really looking forward to that, since I typically visit Home Town every 2-4 months, but this year has been much, much less. After that is the cruise!

I have lots of post ideas, but no motivation to write them. It's always a little tricky for me to post from my folks' place, but I'd like to get some of these posts out while I'm away. We'll see.

That's Dr. Ecogeofemme

I didn't spend 6.5 years in evil Ph.D. school to be called "Ms" thank you very much!

In other words, I passed!

And it was not anticlimactic at all.

What now?

Ever since I turned in my thesis, I've had a really hard time getting back to work. I finished it on a Friday so I felt like I had earned the following weekend off. Then the next week was Thanksgiving, so I only had Mon and Tues at work, during which I did very little. I rationalized that I should give myself the week to think about things other than my thesis (like post-docs), and then return from Thanksgiving with fresh eyes. But then I didn't really do much last week either. I was distracted by some prep stuff for my probable post-doc, which felt difficult so it took longer than it should have. But now that's done so I have no excuses to get on with the defense prep.

Ecogeoman is annoyed and nervous that I don't seem more nervous. Right now I just don't feel that anxious. I feel like I did my best on my thesis, and there isn't much more I can do now to prepare for my defense. I mean, it should represent the last 6.5 years, not the final 6.5 days, right?

But I really should do something. I have to give a 10-20 min presentation at the start of the (closed) defense that should cover the highlights of my work without going chapter by chapter. I've got a start on that, but I still don't have a clear vision of how I want to structure the talk. Blurgh.

So, today I'm going to read my thesis. While reading, I'm going to make a note of papers that I need to skim to refresh my memory. I'm going to list questions I think I might be asked. And then I'm going to put away my thesis and let myself ruminate on it so tomorrow I can attack the presentation with the big picture in mind. Later, I'm going to read up on the one statistical technique I used that I'm not 100% confident about.

This is exactly how I felt before other major tests, like the SAT in high school and prelims in grad school. I think that I'm probably a lot more stressed than I'm letting myself acknowledge, and that the actual stress level won't be evident until after the defense when it goes away. Next weekend can't come fast enough!