Saturday in the lab

I went to work today and got a ton of stuff done. Before gas got so expensive, when I went to the lab on weekends, I used to vacillate between thinking "it's Saturday, I can take lots of breaks" and "I'm spending my Saturday here, I better have something to show for it when I leave". Now when I drive the 35 miles each way to go the lab on weekends, I think, "I better get a shit ton of work done since I'm spending so much money to get here."

Almost no one else in my lab works on weekends. It's nice to be alone there on occasion. I can listen to whatever music I want without offending anyone. Plus I can sing along! And dance a little! I can use all the space and equipment I want without getting in anyone else's way. I can fart. And bonus: I can get away with not wearing my safety glasses when I'm doing stuff that's really, really low risk (but dont' tell anyone).

The only bad thing today was that I got this really weird pain in my foot, like a cramp or pulled muscle or something. It feels like there's a nail being driven into the arch just next to the heel. By the end of the day I couldn't put weight on my heel -- I had to walk on my tip-toes on that foot. I put one of those rice filled heat packs on it when I got home but it still hurts. I'm hoping that a good night's sleep will take care of it.

RBO frustration

Today was a moderately crappy day. Here's why:

• My friends asked me to pick up their mail while they're on vacation. They left on Tuesday and will return on Saturday, so they said it was only necessary for me to go on Thursday. I fought annoying traffic only to find a note saying their mailbox was full and no more would be delivered. How is it full after only two days? What kind of mail do these people get?
• I was clumsy in the lab today. No major incidents, but a bunch of little oopses that I had to recover from and makes notes of.
• My tv wasn't working when I got home! O nos! Sound but no picture except for a blinky line of green light. I checked all the cables and stuff, which didn't help. So I slapped it and the picture returned for a second. After a bunch of tries, ending with me slapping it really hard, the picture came back. I guess we should start saving for a new one.
• It's humid as all get out here and the lab was swampy. yuck.
• Carpool Buddy was supposed to drive two weeks in a row to make up for lots of extra driving I've been doing. He ended up driving me one day this week.
• RA still has not done this 2-4 hour task that she needs to do before I can finish up the project I'm working on. I've been waiting since April. I desperately want to finish the lab parts of the project before I go on vacation in a week, partly so I can feel good about going away, but MOSTLY because I want the data in time to incorporate it into my August conference talk. RA knows this. Yet she keeps blowing me off, promising to do it every day and then not doing it. If she hasn't done it by 1pm tomorrow, I'm going to present some less desirable ultimatums alternatives, like me doing it myself or getting new material to do it later. Both involve more work for me, but if it doesn't get done tomorrow, the timing won't work out for me to finish next week. To be clear, this is something RA is piggybacking off my project to get something she wants for herself (that I might be a coauthor on if it pans out), not something I wanted her to do for me. Also, she has not read the manuscript I gave her in March, April, and May (increasingly polished drafts).

On the bright side, I exercised yesterday and today. This is good because I'm trying to lose some inches and because it means I'm not lounging like a baby seal all alone in my hot and stuffy apartment. Also, I already have my lunch packed, go cup washed, and coffee maker programmed for tomorrow. And as frustrated as I am with RA right now, I'm extremely fond of her and overall am very happy in her lab.

UPDATE: RA did it! Early this afternoon, I went into her office and told her I was moving on at the end of the day no matter what and that if she didnt' have time to do the Thing with the Thing, we'd find a way to work it out later. I told her why -- that if I got moving again tomorrow I'd be able to finish most of it before I go away and I would be cleared out of the space to Awesome Technician and an intern could work there while I'm gone, but if I don't get started tomorrow morning, the timing will be all screwed up and I won't be able to do much at all next week. So she did it. It took her longer than I thought it would so I had to stay really late to do my part afterward. But she did it!

Am I too old for Cosmo?

I almost never buy women’s magazines because they usually leave me feeling ugly and poor. However, I like to read them when I’m traveling, particularly when I'm going by plane. It’s so distracting in airports that the short, easy to comprehend articles are nice. But the last time I flew, I had a little realization.

The airport bookshop had a paltry selection of magazines. I wanted a Marie Claire, but they didn’t have that. I could have picked Cosmo or Glamour, but those are mostly about clothes I can’t afford (and wouldn’t wear anyway) and how to bag a man and then sneak out of his apartment in the morning. Just not me. I thought about People, but I dislike the culture of celebrity worship and I don’t want to endorse tabloids paying paparazzi to chase down celebrities even when they’re dressed up sorta classy like People. So what did I end up with? Redbook. What am I, 45? At least it wasn’t Ladies Home Journal. Or worse, Reader’s Digest.

Women’s magazines seem to be marketed to an older audience than they are actually written for. Like, 17-year-old girls don’t read Seventeen, 13-year-olds do. It’s the 17-year-olds who are reading Cosmo (let’s not even think about the twisted impression of adult life they get from that). Those in their mid-twenties are passing Cosmo for Marie Claire or Jane. Apparently by the time you’re 29, you’ve graduated to Redbook.

Redbook still has some articles about sex, but the descriptions are vague (touch him someplace unexpected to spice things up). In contrast, Comso and Glamour are all about sex and it’s explicit (wow him in bed! Stick a carrot in his butt!). I guess Ladies Home Journal probably alludes to the fact that married people are intimate, but doesn’t provide tips.

I apologize to any readers I might have who love Redbook and Ladies Home Journal and don’t think you have to be 45 to enjoy them. It was just a shock that I’d rather read magazines marketed to my mom than to me. I’m getting more like her every day.

All alone

Ecogeoman left for Far Off Land this morning. He'll be gone for three weeks, then back for one week, then off to British Columbia for another two weeks (where he'll be in the forest alone. can he not get eaten by a grizzly bear?). He'll be participating in his high school best friend's wedding, renewing his visa, visiting family, and working.

I just hate it when he's gone. I miss him a lot, plus I'm such a homebody. Without someone around, it's possible for me to stay inside all by myself and do nothing for way too long.

Expect lots of blogging, I guess.

Great job!

One of my favorite things about working with Awesome Technician is that we give each other non-ironic praise or sympathy, depending on the situation. For example, if the finicky instrument breaks down and she spends a few days fixing it, I tell her what a great job she did. She’s expected to do the work and do it right, so she didn’t go above and beyond her duty, but it was good work nonetheless. I also thank her whenever she does something for me. Usually, the things she does are her job, but I could certainly do them myself and I know that in some labs, I would not have the luxury of a technician performing instrument maintenance, for example. By the same token, if things aren't going well, I give her sincere sympathy. She does the same for me.

I heard this story on NPR’s Morning Edition, which talks about how young people expect to be valued as special snowflakes, their morale slumping if their bosses don’t praise their performance on everyday tasks. When they grew up, everyone – not just the winner -- got a ribbon just for trying. I’m not sure I really feel that way myself. I’m a little older than the people in the story and my childhood soccer team certainly didn’t get a trophy just for playing. But it’s nice to work in a positive environment, especially in an industry with so much very-delayed gratification.

Read that paper and then you can have your dinner

I think reading papers goes into the important-but-not-urgent category. Reading lots of papers gets you really immersed in the literature and that, I believe, a good scientist makes. Reading before it's urgent (like for a proposal deadline) means that you ruminate on the ideas and assimilate them into your own work over time.

But it's just so difficult to read papers regularly and well.

To combat this problem and help relieve some guilt, EGM and I decided we're going to read together every night. He's about to go on a whole bunch of travel, so we'll probably start when the fall semester begins. We don't have details worked out -- I think we'll read for an hour an night or something -- but we'll keep each other accountable. Science can't happen on an island. Unless it's funded by the Dharma Initiative.

I used to worry that I might make a poor PI because I get so bogged down with reading and writing. I love lab work. I really enjoy thinking about and discussing science, and I often find it delightful to listen to research summarized in a talk. But reading papers is a chore. I sometimes fret that I'm doomed to be a Ph.D. Technician. However, in another example of how much this blogging community rocks, reading other blogs written by people who seem to be awesome scientists has made me realize that many people have a hard time reading as much as they should. And many people procrastinate, feel inadequate about, or actually dislike writing. So maybe I'm not doomed to failure after all. Thanks, guys.

Where do I look?

There is this really long hallway where I work, ~175 ft long. The offices are along one side and the labs are on the other. There are 15-20 people who work in this area and frequently walk the length of the hallway throughout the day, going between labs and offices, etc. It can be sort of awkward though: after you've passed the same person 6 times in an afternoon, do you still say hi? smile? nod? look away? I find it difficult to ignore someone I know who is passing within 3 feet of me. However, I do sometimes concentrate on the floor in an OCD kind of way as I walk; I like to step on the floor tiles where the pattern is parallel to my feet.


Perhaps I should suggest that we give each other high fives every time we pass. That would liven up the day.

Making lucky

You know that dictum that luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity? Well, today I experienced a small example of that.

We have all these interns this summer. In the past, our interns have frequently had chunks of time with nothing to do, like if they are waiting for samples to dry/get wet/incubate/die. Since their projects have to be very small and discreet so they can finish in 10-12 weeks, they don't have side work on hand to fill up these gaps. I have learned to capitalize on these windows by having easy but boring work available for them at a moment's notice, stuff that that someone can do with very little additional training and that sucks to do for days on end but isn't so bad for a few hours. In fact, I save up this kind of work for just these occasions. I figure I can always do it myself eventually, but I don't want to miss the opportunity for help because I didn't have something easy for a helper to do.

Today, not one but two interns had 2-3 hours with nothing to do, so Awesome Technician put them to work on my stuff. I was thrilled. We both knew there was a more important and time sensitive task that they should probably have been assigned to, but everyone else was out of the lab today and none of them had given AT instructions for it, so my stuff was all she could think of. Lucky.

Getting bigger

Summer has finally arrived 'round these parts, so I dug out some summer clothes stored from last year. It's not pretty, folks. I have to face an undeniable reality that my loose and stretchy winter sweaters let me ignore: I have gained weight.

I have been about the same weight my whole adult life. I might edge up a little over winter and then slim down a smidge in summer, but I until recently I could still fit some clothes from high school. Lately, however, I've been feeling like my good jeans are uncomfortable and my loose jeans have become good jeans. Ugh.

Last January, I had this idea that I would do video Pilates workouts every day. I wanted to observe if it impacted my physique, so like a good scientist I took my measurements as a baseline (the Pilates didn't produce measurable changes in four months' time). The other day I found the paper where I recorded those measurements, so I busted out the measuring tape to do a comparison. Whoa. I increased more than 2 inches everywhere but my bust (why isn't it ever in the bust first?).

I don't own a scale, so I have no idea how much I've gained. But the extra needs to go. I have had enough warning from observing the weight gain and subsequent dieting of a mom and four sisters to know what can happen if I blow it off. Not healthy.

I feel conflicted writing this post on this blog. It feels very anti-feminist to be fretting about a little weight gain. I don't think women need to be super slim to be successful or worthwhile. Also, I kinda feel like an ass for complaining about a few pounds after years of stable weight when so many people I know, probably including some readers, have fought their weight forever. So why do I care about a few extra pounds? Partly, I don't want to have to buy new clothes in a bigger size. Partly, I feel uncomfortable in a body that somehow feels less limber and lithe. Partly, I don't want my weight to get out of control so I develop knee problems like my mom. Partly, I feel like if my body was the same weight for so long, it was probably a healthy weight. And partly, I'm a little vain.

So, I'm going to start getting more exercise each day. The weather is good now so I can walk or jog outside. And I'll be more observant of WW points. EGM has been doing Weight Watchers for almost a year now but doesn't really count points. I think we should get back into that habit. I think what I'm noticing is the decreasing metabolism with age, because I don't feel like there has been a big change in my habits. Although clever readers may note that it is odd that this is coincident with adding chicken back into my diet in January.

Back

I'm back! Actually, I've been back for a few days but I haven't gotten around to posting because I had so many posts to read. You people are just far too interesting.

So, the meeting was fine. It was an annual workshop that I've attended before, so I didn't get as much out of it this time. The participants were all students, at all levels, in a range of disciplines. Personally, I think the workshop program needs major overhauling in order to meet the very difficult task of providing something valuable to all members of such a wide audience. They ask us to come for an entire week in June, the time when people are finally freed from the classroom to focus on research or need to be working outdoors in the field, so I think we should be able expect to really benefit from the program that takes us away at such a crucial time. The worst part for me was listening to several of the same talks, positively steeped in opinion, that I heard last year. The best part was interacting with the many undergrads who were eager to learn all about grad school, what it's like to do research, and the science everyone is doing. The even better part was that more than 50% of the people there were women, some from very male-dominated fields.

My talk was okay, but not as seamless and interesting as I would have liked. As I was working on it, I realized that I don't have a super good grasp of how the work fits with some of the recent literature. One lab group has published several very nice papers in the last 6 months or so that put forth a new concept substantiated with several lines of observational evidence. I need to study those papers to figure out how my research adds to that body of work rather than simply confirming it. So, that's why my talk last week was so unsatisfying. However, I think I know what I need to do next (before my presentation at the big August meeting).

Since I've been back, I learned that Research Advisor finally started to do a Lab Thing that has been holding me up. She didn't finish it, but we decided I could move on with part of it in the meantime. I'm glad because waiting for her had me suck on two different projects and I was starting to resent it. But before I do any work in that lab space, I have to clean it because someone did Something Bad in it and now I don't trust the integrity of samples processed in it. Poo. On the personal side, yesterday we met a bunch of friends at a festival where I saw 1. a man wearing a black cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and tiny briefs that had "evil" written in glitter across the ass, and nothing else. and 2. a man wearing tiny denim briefs and nothing else. There was also a marching band band that was awesome and seriously, the most openly-affectionate same-sex couples I've ever seen. That was really cool. Today I had grand plans for doing all sorts of housework, work reading, etc., but ALL I've done is read blog posts. Maybe I'll get my ass into gear and at least go to the grocery store.

Travel anxiety and procrastination

I'm going on a trip tomorrow. I have to attend a workshop for my fellowship program during which I will give a 30-45 min talk (nice that they were so clear with the time expectations, eh?). The talk isn't finished yet, but it shouldn't take me too long to polish it off. Too bad I'm blogging instead.

I always get a lot of anxiety before I travel, especially when it's for work. I get nervous about making my flight, how I'm going to get to the airport, how I'm going to find the hotel, etc. I mentally list what I'm going to wear so I don't end up short a shirt or something. I also worry about my talk/poster. I'll have visions of forgetting the poster tube or bringing the wrong memory stick. I'm usually fine with actually giving the presentation, but I get anxious about everything up until the session starts.

I best get back to work on the talk so I can go to bed early tonight and enjoy the afternoon in conference city tomorrow with some of the fellows with whom I have become friends at past workshops. Also, I'm not sure if I'll be blogging while I'm away, but with the infrequency of my posts lately, that should be nothing new.

Summer students swarm serene science space, create chaos

There are six extra people in our lab this summer, plus a temp who is finishing up a 5-month gig. There will also be a visiting post doc for a few weeks in July (staying at my place) and a post doc who has a joint appointment with another lab who will be with us more than usual. For reference, there are only eight of us there full-time year-round.

I enjoy having interns and visiting faculty around. The work that has become hum-drum to us is fresh to new people; their enthusiasm can enliven the mostly repetitive and often boring work we do. Also, it is exciting to see so much get done so quickly.

It takes good organization and communication to train and manage all those people, many of whom do not have much lab experience. Even the ones who have spent some time in labs don’t know how our lab operates (obviously), so they need a lot of help. If we don’t keep up with their needs, things can get royally f’d up. Regular readers may recall that our lab has occasional organizational shortcomings; I always get tense at the start of the summer before we know what the interns are like. Good ones make the summers rock out, but so-so ones can wreak havoc without even knowing it (if we were more organized or better mentors, we could probably circumvent problems).

Today was good though. I knew others would be working in the same area as me, so I got started in the lab straight away to could claim some space and supplies. One by one, people joined me and managed to squeeze in so everybody could work. An interesting if tedious highlight was sitting quietly while three different interns got trained by three different people at different points in the day to do almost the same thing. But the best part was with the temp: housekeeping is a perennial problem for us so yesterday I had asked her to clean up a big mess she had neglected for days and days and today she did it! I was the first to leave this afternoon, so we’ll see how the space looks tomorrow morning.

I hope today signals the start of a fun and productive summer.

RBOC

• I have been having a hard time putting myself to bed lately. I just stay up doing stupid shit like doing crossword puzzles online, which are a new mini-obsession. This means that I am a) grouchy and b) not productive sitting at my desk. I've been doing more in the lab lately to avoid staring into space when I'm supposed to be writing a talk for a workshop next week.
• The summer students have arrived. I like the feeling of intense productivity during the busy, well staffed summers. On the other hand, the lab gets crowded and messy and that drives me fucking nuts. There may be more on this later.
• I had an awesome time meeting some other bloggers this weekend. They were remarkably similar to how I'd imagined them. There may be more on this later, too.
• I watched the Ricky Bobby movie tonight. The extras were better than the movie.
• EGM recently learned that he has to skip a paycheck, so we are trying to be frugal and go easy at the grocery store. While annoying, I'm glad to be more mindful of how we shop and eat. I feel like Arduous. There will probably be more on this at The Economical Academic soon.
• I gotta go to bed now before my face falls in my keyboard or I pick a fight with EGM for no good reason. G'night.