I didn't spend 6.5 years in evil Ph.D. school to be called "Ms" thank you very much!
In other words, I passed!
And it was not anticlimactic at all.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
What now?
Ever since I turned in my thesis, I've had a really hard time getting back to work. I finished it on a Friday so I felt like I had earned the following weekend off. Then the next week was Thanksgiving, so I only had Mon and Tues at work, during which I did very little. I rationalized that I should give myself the week to think about things other than my thesis (like post-docs), and then return from Thanksgiving with fresh eyes. But then I didn't really do much last week either. I was distracted by some prep stuff for my probable post-doc, which felt difficult so it took longer than it should have. But now that's done so I have no excuses to get on with the defense prep.
Ecogeoman is annoyed and nervous that I don't seem more nervous. Right now I just don't feel that anxious. I feel like I did my best on my thesis, and there isn't much more I can do now to prepare for my defense. I mean, it should represent the last 6.5 years, not the final 6.5 days, right?
But I really should do something. I have to give a 10-20 min presentation at the start of the (closed) defense that should cover the highlights of my work without going chapter by chapter. I've got a start on that, but I still don't have a clear vision of how I want to structure the talk. Blurgh.
So, today I'm going to read my thesis. While reading, I'm going to make a note of papers that I need to skim to refresh my memory. I'm going to list questions I think I might be asked. And then I'm going to put away my thesis and let myself ruminate on it so tomorrow I can attack the presentation with the big picture in mind. Later, I'm going to read up on the one statistical technique I used that I'm not 100% confident about.
This is exactly how I felt before other major tests, like the SAT in high school and prelims in grad school. I think that I'm probably a lot more stressed than I'm letting myself acknowledge, and that the actual stress level won't be evident until after the defense when it goes away. Next weekend can't come fast enough!
Ecogeoman is annoyed and nervous that I don't seem more nervous. Right now I just don't feel that anxious. I feel like I did my best on my thesis, and there isn't much more I can do now to prepare for my defense. I mean, it should represent the last 6.5 years, not the final 6.5 days, right?
But I really should do something. I have to give a 10-20 min presentation at the start of the (closed) defense that should cover the highlights of my work without going chapter by chapter. I've got a start on that, but I still don't have a clear vision of how I want to structure the talk. Blurgh.
So, today I'm going to read my thesis. While reading, I'm going to make a note of papers that I need to skim to refresh my memory. I'm going to list questions I think I might be asked. And then I'm going to put away my thesis and let myself ruminate on it so tomorrow I can attack the presentation with the big picture in mind. Later, I'm going to read up on the one statistical technique I used that I'm not 100% confident about.
This is exactly how I felt before other major tests, like the SAT in high school and prelims in grad school. I think that I'm probably a lot more stressed than I'm letting myself acknowledge, and that the actual stress level won't be evident until after the defense when it goes away. Next weekend can't come fast enough!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The Endnote thing
So I've mentioned that I don't use Endnote, or any other reference manager. Before you all go apeshit on me, I will say that I recognize that it's the 21st century and that I am missing out on a real convenience by not using reference-managing software. But here's why I don't: I'm lazy.
I keep pdf copies of all my papers in one giant folder. They are labeled by author and year with a few keywords, and despite the fact that this folder now has hundreds of papers, I seem to be able to manage it.
I finally got a copy of Endnote several years into grad school. For a while, I made an effort to build a library with all the papers I had. I was pretty excited about it, but I soon decided it was a pain in the ass to transfer my makeshift pdf system to Endnote. And then I lost interest. And then I got a new-to-me computer that didn't have Endnote. I didn't think to ask for it, and that meant that I couldn't throw my dissertation references into it at the last minute.
Perhaps more importantly, I get a lovely sense of satisfaction from manually building the reference list for each paper. The gradually accruing list is like a progress meter for the paper. Look at how much I've written! Look at how many papers I've read! Look at how thorough I am! Ha-ha!
Admitedly, the big pdf file is starting to get a little out of hand now. I will probably spend some time sorting something out before I get hot and heavy into a post-doc. I downloaded Zotero a few months ago, but I didn't take the time to figure out how to use it. Since it seems I'm not committed to anything, so I'm open to suggestions!
I keep pdf copies of all my papers in one giant folder. They are labeled by author and year with a few keywords, and despite the fact that this folder now has hundreds of papers, I seem to be able to manage it.
I finally got a copy of Endnote several years into grad school. For a while, I made an effort to build a library with all the papers I had. I was pretty excited about it, but I soon decided it was a pain in the ass to transfer my makeshift pdf system to Endnote. And then I lost interest. And then I got a new-to-me computer that didn't have Endnote. I didn't think to ask for it, and that meant that I couldn't throw my dissertation references into it at the last minute.
Perhaps more importantly, I get a lovely sense of satisfaction from manually building the reference list for each paper. The gradually accruing list is like a progress meter for the paper. Look at how much I've written! Look at how many papers I've read! Look at how thorough I am! Ha-ha!
Admitedly, the big pdf file is starting to get a little out of hand now. I will probably spend some time sorting something out before I get hot and heavy into a post-doc. I downloaded Zotero a few months ago, but I didn't take the time to figure out how to use it. Since it seems I'm not committed to anything, so I'm open to suggestions!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
RBOC
So I had a nice weekend laying around, hanging out with friends, and drinking lots of wine. I now give you bullets.
- EGM complained that "the tide was out" when I handed him the tea I made for him. I guess that means it wasn't full enough. Whatev.
- One of my thesis chapters is very controversial in my sub-subfield. We're hoping to avoid a steel-cage death match by sending it to our "competitor" to review before we submit it for real. Research Advisor wants to do this before Christmas. Can it please happen that quickly? I reallyreallyreally don't want that paper to linger.
- I think I might have a post-doc to start in early spring. Yay! It's still not for sure yet, so more on this later.
- We're going to visit my family for Thanksgiving. I'm really looking forward to it, as I haven't seen nearly enough of my family this year. Friday I'm going to spend the day watching movies with S2. I always spend the day after Thanksgiving with S2, and some years others come along to make it a very intense, yet fun day. I think this year will be very chill.
- Have you seen that show Modern Family? I haven't seen it every week, but from what I have seen, it's hilarious.
- BFF had a death in her family, which makes me sad.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Ding-dong the diss. is done!
I emailed it a little while ago, and posted a printed copy to my out-of-state committee member!
My sister sent a wonderful surprise! A gift basket with champagne, chocolates, cheese and crackers, and fancy nuts. And it happened to come while I was home, which is awesome because it turns into a huge clusterfuck when we miss a FedEx package. It totally made my day. Well, that and finishing my motherfucking dissertation!!!
I still have to hand out hard copies (which were f'ing expensive at Kinko's so I only had three done; I will print the rest at work and then pay just to get them bound), but it's getting too late to do that today. I doubt anyone will mind getting that next week, or even after Thanksgiving, and I will still get to say they had the dissertation three weeks in advance. Whatever, I am so relieved.
Now let's hope that they like it!
I'm off to party!
My sister sent a wonderful surprise! A gift basket with champagne, chocolates, cheese and crackers, and fancy nuts. And it happened to come while I was home, which is awesome because it turns into a huge clusterfuck when we miss a FedEx package. It totally made my day. Well, that and finishing my motherfucking dissertation!!!
I still have to hand out hard copies (which were f'ing expensive at Kinko's so I only had three done; I will print the rest at work and then pay just to get them bound), but it's getting too late to do that today. I doubt anyone will mind getting that next week, or even after Thanksgiving, and I will still get to say they had the dissertation three weeks in advance. Whatever, I am so relieved.
Now let's hope that they like it!
I'm off to party!
No planning
So most of you agree that I'm nuts for not using Endnote or something like it. I have another confession related to organizational conveniences: I have never, ever consistently used a planner or calendar. I just can't seem to do it.
I remember a scene in college when I asked a friend the date or something and she said, "why don't you check your planner?" and I said "I don't have a planner" and she was all, "what?! I have three! How can you live without a planner?!" Um, I dunno.
I've had planners before, with real intentions of being all organized and what-not. I'd write some things in it, and then never look back at it again. I have a calendar in my office, but pretty much all that gets recorded on it is travel plans, especially Advisor's trips. I seem to have a pretty good sense of time, which I keep in my head in a sort of spatially structured way. Or something. In general, I seem to know when events or deadlines are approaching and how they relate to other events and deadlines. Maybe I'm just not busy enough yet, but I kind of don't think so because other people who are not any busier than me seem totally dependent on some kind of calendar system. However, I think I might come to need one eventually as I get more responsibility. I admit that I've needed to refer to a calendar more often in the last year or two, but that's to anchor my sense of time rather than to record events for later reference.
Interestingly, although I always knew when my homework was due and I rarely miss other deadlines, I'm abysmal at getting birthday cards in the mail in time. Sending cards to each of my 28 family members was my New Year's Resolution this year, and although I sent cards for all but two birthdays (and there are two still to come), I was late on almost all of them.
I remember a scene in college when I asked a friend the date or something and she said, "why don't you check your planner?" and I said "I don't have a planner" and she was all, "what?! I have three! How can you live without a planner?!" Um, I dunno.
I've had planners before, with real intentions of being all organized and what-not. I'd write some things in it, and then never look back at it again. I have a calendar in my office, but pretty much all that gets recorded on it is travel plans, especially Advisor's trips. I seem to have a pretty good sense of time, which I keep in my head in a sort of spatially structured way. Or something. In general, I seem to know when events or deadlines are approaching and how they relate to other events and deadlines. Maybe I'm just not busy enough yet, but I kind of don't think so because other people who are not any busier than me seem totally dependent on some kind of calendar system. However, I think I might come to need one eventually as I get more responsibility. I admit that I've needed to refer to a calendar more often in the last year or two, but that's to anchor my sense of time rather than to record events for later reference.
Interestingly, although I always knew when my homework was due and I rarely miss other deadlines, I'm abysmal at getting birthday cards in the mail in time. Sending cards to each of my 28 family members was my New Year's Resolution this year, and although I sent cards for all but two birthdays (and there are two still to come), I was late on almost all of them.
Final hours
Thanks for all the encouragement, Readers!
I got home around midnight last night. The chapter are all done, but I need to read through to make sure some changes I made last yesterday make sense. TOC is done, but there might be some weird stuff with the page numbers. Lists of Tables,Figures, and Abbreviations are not done, but I doubt my committee will care at this point.
So, today. I printed one copy of the fucker last night, and now I am going to read through it to make sure everything is OK. Then I'll take a stab at the LoT, LoF, LoA, and try to fix the page numbering issue. If any of those things get too hard, I will quit. Then I will take it to kinko's, get it printed and bound, buy some cds* to make electronic copies for everybody, and turn it in.
We're going out tonight. :)
*I thought it would be really nice to give each committee member a usb stick with the diss saved as both a word doc (so they can track changes) and a pdf. The pdf wont' happen because I can't do that on my laptop and I"m not making the drive back to the lab today. I bought enough usbs, but it cost $75, so I think I might take them back and use cds instead.
I got home around midnight last night. The chapter are all done, but I need to read through to make sure some changes I made last yesterday make sense. TOC is done, but there might be some weird stuff with the page numbers. Lists of Tables,Figures, and Abbreviations are not done, but I doubt my committee will care at this point.
So, today. I printed one copy of the fucker last night, and now I am going to read through it to make sure everything is OK. Then I'll take a stab at the LoT, LoF, LoA, and try to fix the page numbering issue. If any of those things get too hard, I will quit. Then I will take it to kinko's, get it printed and bound, buy some cds* to make electronic copies for everybody, and turn it in.
We're going out tonight. :)
*I thought it would be really nice to give each committee member a usb stick with the diss saved as both a word doc (so they can track changes) and a pdf. The pdf wont' happen because I can't do that on my laptop and I"m not making the drive back to the lab today. I bought enough usbs, but it cost $75, so I think I might take them back and use cds instead.
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