If I have written about this before, I'm sorry. But if I'm posting about this issue a second time, it means you guys didn't give me good enough advice.
The science staff is relatively friendly with the support staff where I work. I recognize everyone on the custodial and maintenance crews in my building and I know most of them by name. Some of them even chat with me (and other scientists) at length from time to time. There is one custodian in particular who always greets me and always says goodbye to me when he leaves for the day, which is great.
But. He calls me the wrong name.
He calls me by the name of another person in our group. It's similar to my name, sure. But it's wrong. At first I wasn't sure if I had heard him right and then I thought maybe he just made an isolated mistake. But then I realized that he just had it wrong. And then it went on for a long time where I never had an opportunity to correct him. Now it's been going on so long that I have no idea how to tell him without one or both of us feeling like a huge ass. Plus, I think by now the people he hangs out with know me by the wrong name too. It's not really a big deal because it's not like I have to interact with this person very much, but I'm sure it will come out sooner or later and it will be super awkward. Suggestions?
In other news, I almost met all of my goals for October 15. I got both little grants submitted and of course I finished the Crummy Tedious samples. The only thing I didn't quite complete was the next draft of my manuscript. I'm close though. I just have to polish the conclusions and write the abstract. I tried all afternoon but it was so hot and stuffy in my office that I just couldn't concentrate. I think I can get it done tomorrow though, so I feel pretty good all in all.
12 comments:
Try to squeeze this in at some point in the conversation, "oh I know, my coworker (boyfriend, boss, ect.) is always saying 'YOUR NAME' I hate it when you eat the last Twix candy bar (or some other random fact that your friend says)."
I think I would take him aside at some point and say something like, "I think we were introduced incorrectly, and I know it was probably a long time ago, but my name really is 'fill in blank.'" And then if he acts embarassed (I'm probably spelling everything wrong this morning!), just tell him you're lousy with names too, or that someone else is always getting it wrong, or something like it's really not a big deal. But you may have to remind him, because now it's ingrained!
Several individuals used to always use another name than mine, starting with the same 1st letter, and it used to drive me nuts. (I used to think there was another person out there somewhere, identicle to me but with this other name!) And I'm not that great with names, either, and used to feel quite awkward about it. Somehow the other name for me just dropped away, and I've also gotten less embarassed about not remembering names. Usually, now, when I just blurt out, hey, I forgot your name, the other person just laughs and says they don't remember names well either. - a little off topic, sorry ;)
You are so great at meeting your goals; I'm impressed! Keep it up. We used to have "Action Plans" at work for each yearly goal, with each goal having several "actions" or sub-goals required to get the whole thing done, and for many sub-goals the deadlines would have to be extended for various reasons, including not being able to estimate correctly how long it can really take to get some things done, but often because other things got in the way.
Congrats on meeting your goals!
I think Silver Fox has the best way of getting around the problem. I have the opposite problem, I don't know our custodial staffs' names. And it's getting awkward to ask!
If you moved to a country where your name is foreign and thus rare, no one would ever forget or confuse your name again (although they might mispronounce it).
Great job on those goals! You are an inspiration to me.
Ugh, I hate those situations. I chat to a girl almost every morning who uses the bike and shower rooms at the same time as me, but only found out her name by chance when I saw her photo in the institute's newsletter. It was getting way too late to ask. A correction is even worse. I like both Jennie and Silver Fox's suggestions, the latter is more direct but I would probably use the former myself, much easier!
I have developed a reputation among one group of friends for ferociously correcting people who call me Cathy, which I hate. (I don't mind Catherine and I often use it when introducing myself for the first time, especially over the phone - a lot of North Americans don't seem to register Cath as being a name). This is undeserved - I usually just say "oh, I don't use Cathy, I prefer Cath", but somehow this has translated into me being a bitch about it! I did point out to these friends that when a new person calls me Cathy, it's never actually me that corrects them - the whole group shouts "OHMYGOD DON'T CALL HER CATHY SHE'LL FREAK OUT!" while I sit quietly and roll my eyes!
Go ahead and mention it. I think it's fine to show a little embarrassment that it's been so long. If you keep the focus on you ("I feel silly for keeping quiet so long") then that removes some of their awkwardness for calling you the wrong name for 6 years or whatever. Hopefully everybody involved will see the humor in it and then it will just be a funny story.
Sorry, no advice here. I have idea, other then sticking a "Hello, My Name Is________" name tag on your shirt. Or, when this person is around, arrange for one of your colleagues to come running down the hall for you, shouting your name really loudly and clearly.
Congrats on finishing the crummy tedious samples. Or was it tedious crummy samples?
The real point of this comment was supposed to be this: You have an office? My ultimate goal in life is to get a job that entitles me to an office. Right now the closest thing I have to an office is a very large dining room table.
Hmm... I would just let this one go, given the circumstances. You haven't corrected him before, why start now (it would admittedly seem a little bizarre)? You'll be graduating soon enough. :)
Thanks for the input, Everyone. The guy hangs out a lot with a female custodian who I know a little better and often uses the bathroom/locker room near my office. If I get a chance, I think I will bring it up with her, using a tactic like silver fox or short geologist suggested.
Cath, that is hilarious. I have to admit that I too didn't register Cath at first, but I really like it.
Tina, I feel extremely lucky to have my own office most of the time. I have to share it with another student from time to time (he only works at our lab sproadically) and it's filled with other people's file cabinets and storage shelves, but it's still the most wonderful thing evah.
Chiming in late to say, Congrats on meeting those goals. Yay!
Congrats on meeting almost all of your goals!
On the name issue, I cannot help much -- some people here call me "Amelia" and I feel awkward to tell them now that this is actually not quite right. It's not at work and I don't see them a lot, so I might just not say anything at all... but I understand that you'd like to.
one of my coworkers was my total doppelganger!! Even one of her own committee members went a few WEEKS passing me in the hall and calling me her name. So I guess that is kind of the flip of your situation.... but what I did was laugh and say, "oh, sorry, yeah everyone does that,.... I'm unreaction!!"
You could just pull him aside and say something to the effect of "you know, I've just realized that I've been mishearing you. My name is actually X."
I dunno... good luck!
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