Playing the field

I just remarked over at River Tam's place that no one would ever call me mannish. No one would ever think I'd be good at field work, either. I'm petite, just 5'1" (155 cm) with a really slight frame. Field work in my discipline relies on one crucial activity* that is most efficient when the worker has height, mass, and strength on her side. I have none of those qualities, unless you're comparing me to a child.

I hate field work, mostly because I'm just not built for it, or at least not for the key tasks. I almost always need a helper in the field. A few years ago I was engaged in a project that required frequent field efforts that I could not do alone so one of the technicians came with me. He could have done this job on his own but since it was for my PhD, it was my fieldwork and I had to be there, turning a one-person job into a two-person job. It frustrates me that I can't be more self-reliant. I also dislike the one-and-only-chance nature of field work; the conditions today will not be the same as tomorrow or next week, so if you fuck it up, you can never really redo it.

But. Field work takes more than just the brute force tasks. It takes a lot of organization, good judgment, and for some things we do, the ability to stay crouched on the ground for hours on end. I can do those things. So even though I can't do that one crucial task, I can do many of the things that go along with it that are also essential. It's hard to remind myself that I'm useful, even good, in the field without the ability to do the big strong stuff, but I am.

One of the benefits of being in a female-dominated lab is that no one connects my poor aptitude for field work with being a woman. Blame it on being small -- yes, but on being a woman -- no. Research Advisor is a machine in the field, while one of the male PIs is worthless. On the other hand, our one male technician is excellent in the field. Some of the female techs can hold their own, too. It's just not a gender thing.

I'm still last picked for field work that's not for my PhD, but that's partly because everyone knows I hate it and partly because no one is paying me to help with other lab projects (in contrast to the technicians who are paid for that). And who am I kidding, it's still partly because I'm a wimp, but whatever. I'm happy I'm not on the trip to do crappy field work this week, like many of my lab mates are.

*If you're positively dying to know what it is, send me an email.

One year on

Yesterday I noted that it was my blogiversary. I have really enjoyed developing this new hobby over the past year, not to mention getting to know all the wonderful people in this corner of the blogosphere. I was reading and commenting on blogs well before I started my own; my habits have changed dramatically since I started my own blog.

I started my blog shortly after we got internet access at home*. I had been reading a handful of blogs (FSP, Sciencewoman's old blog, Am I a Woman Scientist, Dr. Shellie, Ms.PhD, Jenny F. Scientist, PropterDoc) at work. I'd do like I do with email -- I'd keep a few blogs open and refresh constantly whenever I wanted a break. It was before I knew about services like Sitemeter -- those authors must of thought I was a freak! However, I tried not to read too many blogs since I didn't want to spend my entire day at work fluffing around on the web.

Once I got internet at home, I started following a much greater variety of blogs. I found new ones by moving laterally from my favorites and by checking out blogs of people who commented here. I really appreciate the community of which I've become a part and all the latent mentorship I've received through blogs.

Now I subscribe to many blogs (>90; I'm sure many of you read plenty more than that). I still read a few during work breaks, but only in my feed reader and I almost never take time to comment until I get home. It can be difficult to keep up with them all, especially when I miss a few days. Sometimes I get confused about who said what where. Yet, I'm constantly finding new blogs. I like getting to know new people plus I want to support new bloggers the same way that people so generously supported me by visiting and commenting when I first started (and still do!).

I feel torn about my anonymity, too. Sometimes (like after election day) I want to talk about where I live and other times I'd really like to say more about my work. I'm not too concerned with other bloggers or regular readers knowing who I am, but I don't think I want everyone I know to have access to the thoughts I share here and I certainly don't want this page to come up when someone googles my name. I know, same shit everyone says. On the other hand, I sometimes want to share the treasure of the women-in-science blogosphere with colleagues who I think could really benefit from the community. But I hesitate because I don't necessarily want them to read my blog.

So anyway, that's what I think about blogging right now. How about you? Has the way you use blogs shifted over time?



*Can I tell you how pissed I was when I had put off getting home internet because we were on such a tight budget and I thought it would be really expensive (at least $60) and then it turned out to be $17/month? I waited so long to save $17?!

On co-writing

The other day I mentioned that I am co-writing a paper with Awesome Technician. This is my second experience co-writing a document -- the first was the symposium proposal with Cauliflower -- and I really like it.

By co-writing, I mean that both authors feel responsibility for the work. In my experience, it has meant passing the document back and forth, with each person allowed the freedom to change it as she saw fit. I see co-authoring, in contrast, as a situation where one person is a lead author and does most of the drafting. The co-authors merely make suggestions for edits (however major) but it's ultimately up to the lead author to finalize the document. Of course the co-written papers have had a leader, but they have been much more cooperative than traditional collaborations.

There are several benefits to co-writing. When you get blocked or sick of looking at the project, you can pass it on to the other person. Or, you can sketch out ideas and let the other person develop them into something lovely. The reverse can happen too, where the other person does the hard work of laying out a concept and you have the fulfilling job of expanding it into something more articulate. It's also fun to have someone else really invested in the same project you're obsessing about (narcissism, anyone?).

Certainly, I want to have plenty of my own papers, but I have really enjoyed the more intense collaboration that co-writing offers.

Progress Update #1

Okay, so I know I sorta begged Dr Brazen Hussy for InaDWriMo and now it's already November 9 and I haven't even put a word counter up. Shame on me. I promise I'll get on it. For now, here is a summary of my goals.

I'd like to accomplish two writing tasks this month: 1) a very short paper I'm co-writing with Awesome Technician and 2) the first draft of the manuscript that will be Chapter 3 of my dissertation. AT gave me a very, very rough draft of the manuscript a few weeks ago and I think it will end up much shorter than the original so, although both manuscripts are InaDWriMo goals, I think I will base my word count goal only on the Chapter 3 paper. Let's say 5000 words. I already have a rough draft of the methods section, so I'm going to start my count with that even though it's cheating a little since I wrote it before Nov 1.

My progress this past week was pretty slow. I spent two days in the field helping with other lab projects and Tuesday was pretty much shot with the election hoo-ha. I did work on the short paper the other two days. I pretty much overhauled AT's draft -- reorganizing it, clarifying the logic, and working out some of the arguments. I had been working on a it before Nov 1, but I got it far enough to send it back to AT on Friday. It still needs lots of work, but I'm hopeful that we'll have a finished draft by the end of the month. The co-writing process has been pretty interesting so far, so I think I will write a separate post about that soon.

I did make some small progress toward the Chapter 3 paper as well. I had one last little bit of data to collect and now that's done! It feels fantastic to have every last number in the spreadsheet (I think). I'm really hoping to have a complete draft of this thing by Dec 1, but there is a lot of data crunching and interpretation that need to be done, so I think it will be slow going.

In other news, today is my 1 year blogoversary. I intended to write a post about how much my blog habits have changed since I switched from being a reader/commenter only to writing a blog as well. Perhaps tomorrow.

UPDATE: Um, so I just did a word count for the Chapter 3 paper and it's already more than 1000 words. I think I will up my goal to 8000. kthnxbai.

The trouble with novels

I am ashamed to admit that I am the kind of person who can abandon a novel before I reach the ending. For example, I started Catch-22 at least three times, once getting more than half-way, but never finished it. On the other hand, once I'm engaged, I have to simply give up on whatever else I have going on because I get totally enchanted by a good story.

Today I spent about 7 hours engulfed in The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield, which I acquired at a book exchange at work. I started it a few days ago and today I gave in to the decadence of spending the whole day curled up on the couch, not even showering until I was through. Now I'm still stuck in a fog from the story and my inner monologue has taken on the voice of the narrator, as it usually does when I read fiction.

So much for InaDWriMo progress.

There was an interview with the author at the end of the volume. Apparently she used to be an academic specializing in French literature. I thought this question/answer was particularly interesting given how much time I spend reading blogs about balance:

You were an academic before becoming an author. What promoted the change in careers?

British universities are not very happy places for their staff currently, and I gave up academic life for the same reasons as many other do and would like to do. In particular the erosion of my private reading time made me unhappy -- if I cannot escape for an hour or two every day by reading for pleasure, then small problems seem to grow large, and I begin to feel enormously burdened. After five years in the profession I was plagued by the feeling that by some absurd mistake I was leading someone else's life, and was desperate to find a path back to my own. I had always wanted to be a writer, but was impeded by the belief that to be a writer one had to extraordinary, and I knew I wasn't. By the time I was ready to give up my academic career I had realized that while books are extraordinary, writers themselves are no more or less special than anyone else.

Me-meme

Karina, Sciencegirl, and almost Acmegirl tagged me for this meme.

1.Link to the person who tagged you.
2.Post the rules on your blog.
3.Write six random things about yourself.
4.Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5.Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6.Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

My version will be 6 things I've never done.

I've never...
1. learned to drive a manual transmission car.
2. had a proper job interview. or a formal performance evaluation.
3. been responsible for children overnight.
4. voted for a republican.
5. lived in the same home as my oldest brother for more than ~3 months.
6. met either of my grandmothers.

I'm so behind on blog reading that I have no idea who's left to tag for this so I'm not going to tag anyone. But if you'd like to do it, go for it and you can say I tagged you.

Juiced up!

My new power cord came! I can once again connect to the sweet sweet interwebz. Hopefully the chills and shaking will stop now. :)

More to come.