uck. I just saw a commercial for a jewelry store where a man watches a women open a gift from him. Each brightly wrapped box contains a smaller wrapped box. After about six elaborately wrapped boxes, the woman finally gets to a diamond necklace. I remember once S4's high school boyfriend did this for her and I thought it was so romantic (I was probably 6). I wished someone would do that for me someday. Now I just think it's disgusting to waste that much paper.
I really enjoy exchanging gifts though, especially at Christmas. My mom goes totally nuts; she buys a bajillion presents and gets all excited like a kid, singing and dancing around the house, which is probably why I like it so much. But when we were kids, we only really got new stuff at birthdays or Christmas because money was tight and there were so many of us (I am one of seven children). Even now, my mom buys a large portion of my clothes for me as birthday and Christmas gifts.
My pleasure in gift exchange has become somewhat tainted by my interest in non consumerism. I try to limit gift exchange with friends and coworkers because I end up buying stuff that I don't really have the money to buy and they don't really want.. That's fine, I guess, since it's the thought that counts. But it makes me feel so ick watching the tv ads this time of year and knowing all the energy and resources that will go to making and transporting all that stuff and I want to contribute to it as little as possible. So my best friend and I use the money we would have used to buy each other some kind of scented candle to go out together. We'd rather spend quality time together with no money guilt attached than have another picture frame.
Sorry this post was a little stream-of-consciousness. Arduous has spent much more time thinking about this issue, which got me thinking about holiday consumerism -- along with that commercial.
9 comments:
It's very difficult this time of year, I admit. I feel like I veer from being frustrated about wanting to enjoy Christmas without guilt, to feeling judgemental of people for all the mass consumerism which isn't fair either. I love Christmas and gift exchanging too. But frankly? I have a pile of stuff from last Christmas, which is still unused. And every time I look at that pile, I realize that what I'm doing is worth it.
With my closest friends I buy them a theatre or music ticket or write them a homemade coupon for lunch or a camping trip or something because it is about being together. And then for everyone else I make chocolate truffles and fancy two up in a beautiful little homemade box. The hard one for me is my sister who loves her stuff and can spend more money then I make on a gift and who I still feel terribly guilty about if I don't buy something for.
Gifts are difficult when you are overseas (and anti mass consumerism and on a tight budget). Do you have any ways to let family know you're not going to give them gifts?
I give gifts to my parents, one sibling (we draw names), and ecogeoman. I'm trying to avoid adding some friends who seem to have started buying us gifts. So I haven't elminated gifts for family and don't really want to, but I really don't want to expand the list.
Gifts for parents, sister, hubby. On hubby's side, everyone gets stuff for the kids (6 nephews!) and everyone else does Secret Santa. Work people and assorted other friends get cookies.
The hard part for me is the cards. I'm a lazy but environmentally conscious atheist, so I don't do cards except for my parents and sister. I give an equivalent donation to our local foodbank instead. When I get cards from friends I thank them (in person, or via phone or letter, depending on location) and explain why I didn't get them one, and wish them a happy Winterval. It's always so awkward though, I always think that they're only seeing the lazy part of the equation!
Drawing names among siblings is a great idea, I'll suggest that to my brothers. Until now we join efforts (both in terms of money and ideas) to ge one present for everyone. Cards are not so big over here, which makes it easier. Nevertheless I think about sending some to a few selected people...
I forgot to mention my neices and nephews. We go in together, $10/kid, to get a big present for the children in each family. For example, B2's kids are getting an easel, while S3's kids are getting a museum membership. At least it cuts back on them getting many small toys and frankly, it cuts back on the money we spend since we'd probably spend more than $10 to buy decent gifts individually.
I love that you pool together to get one big thing for the kids. That's great!
As myself and my cousins have gotten older, on mom's side, we have stopped getting presents and have experiments with drawing names among other things. This year we are doing a x-mas ornament exchange. My husband said we should opt out we don't want one so why should we give one. Anyone under 18 gets a gift.
I try to tell me family to stop buying me things and it's getting better but not perfect.
When it doubt on what to get I opt for food or drink. Those things don't last long. Last year I gave out some donations in people's names.
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