I've had enough

I'm not sure, but I think I'm on the cusp of a minor burnout episode. And I'm sick and tired of a bunch of work-related things in my life:

• My laptop is totally falling apart. The battery has been shit for quite some time, i.e. only lasting about 20 min before I have to plug in. It's too slow for streaming video. The hinge has been slowly crumbling, and now it doesn't always stay open right. Last night, it flopped shut as I was leaning forward to put it on the coffee table, which resulted in it nailing my lip and making it bleed. When your computer punches you, it's time for a new one. I'm not excited about shelling out for a new computer right now, but I did get this one in 2003, so I guess I should feel too bad about it.
• I'm sick of the disorganization that seems to permeate my university. Can't say much more about that here.
• I have to redo some work because of said disorganization. It's not anyone's fault really, but it still sucks. The work won't take all that long to redo (less than a day) but I thought it was done and now it's not. That's demoralizing.
• The stress associated with the uncertainty of graduating and finding two jobs together is unpleasant.

I've been working way more hours than I normally do, since like, May. Then I kicked it up another notch a few weeks ago. I feel like I should be working all the time since my time to defense is seriously dwindling. But I think I need a break. So tonight I'm going to relax by turning off the computer and watching tv tonight without distraction*. And EGM and I are going to take a full day off this weekend and do something fun together, maybe get out of the city. I think I need it. Actually, we both need it.

* although, there's a conflict. Should I watch the two-hour Grey's Anatomy or cut out early from that to watch The Mentalist? Maybe I'll switch over if Izzie doesn't die. I'm totally sick of Izzie...I just checked the ABC website and it looks like George dies, not Izzie. The Mentalist it is!

The psychology of bedtime

Can someone explain to me why I don't want to go to bed at night? Even when I'm nodding off on the couch? And then desperately want to stay in bed longer in the morning?

Seriously, every single morning I get up and say, I'm totally going to bed earlier tonight. And then I stay up late doing all manner of lame-ass bullshit. Lately this game has been holding me hostage on the couch when I really want to go to bed. Is there any more stupid way to be spending my time? Even my down-time could be more satisfying if I did something else. I feel like a kid who will do anything to stall going to bed. Yet I would very much like more sleep.

Anyway, it seems like lots of people have this problem. I've blogged about it before, and know some of you have too. What makes us do it? Why don't we just go to bed already?

Random bullets of barbecue beef steak stew

• Apparently Ecogeoman has the series of words, "barbecue beef steak stew" stuck in his head, along with "love fish", which we often call each other. I hate getting words stuck in my head. It's worse than having a song on repeat up there.
• Do you think that if I become a famous scientist, they will cast me in Dancing with the Stars?
• I taught myself a new statistical technique last week, but I was using some non-standard software, and I wasn't totally sure I was doing it right/meeting all the assumptions. Today someone who is expert at this technique generously spent a couple of hours teaching me the appropriate program and how to manipulate the data. It confirmed that I pretty much understood what I had learned on my own, and enhanced my understanding dramatically.
• There are two jobs advertised at a university in Far Off Land: one in my field and one in EGM's area. It is stunning that there is a job available for each of us at the same time at the same place, especially in FOL. They are at a level somewhat above our experience, so I think it's a long shot, but we have to apply. I wish applying for my first real job didn't coincide with the hot-and-heavy writing of my diss.
  

Accepted!1!!Eleventy!!11!!!

This morning there was an email waiting for me to tell me that my paper is accepted! You know, the one I've been fretting about here basically since this blog's inception. Yay!

There are a few minor revisions to make, but basically the reviews were, dare I say, glowing. One of the reviewers who read the first version of the manuscript reviewed it again. This person didn't like it at that point because it wasn't novel enough, but now s/he says I addressed all of his/her concerns, so the paper is okay. The other reviewer, who is different from last time, said things like the paper is "well organized" and "very concise" and "illustrate some great evidence [for phenomenon we were trying to measure]". Woot.

Ecogeoman took me out for a very nice dinner tonight to celebrate. Our tradition, which we established long before either of us had anything ready to publish, is that we go out for beers when one of us submits a paper, out to a nice dinner when a paper gets accepted (on the other's dime, of course), and then a smaller dinner like pizza when the paper finally comes out. Tonight we went all out with a bottle of wine and dessert, but this was partially justified by it being our official five-year anniversary tomorrow. :)


You know how sometimes when you are waiting to hear the result of something, you say negative things but deep down you expect a positive outcome? On the contrary, I really expected this paper to get rejected from this journal, but to get accepted elsewhere. Since the 2008 data have been integrated, this journal is one of highest ranked in my field. I'm obviously super pleased with this, but that's in part because I think this is the only piece of my Ph.D. work that is broad enough in scope to be suitable for anything but a specialists' journal.

Honestly, this feels even better than I thought it might. How rare.

I'm totally going to get something done today

Last night we had friends over for dinner and Risk (Ukraine is weak!) . I used basil, green beans, and some spectacular heirloom tomatoes from my garden to make dinner. It was really fulfilling to serve a meal using ingredients I grew.

Today we slept in a bit, then EGM went to work. I'm staying home, but I have a ton of writing work to do. When he left, EGM was all, "so you're going to sit around and read blogs all day?" and I was all, "no" in my most indignant voice. So I guess I better get to work now so I can prove him wrong.

ETA: I totally did nothing today. I let myself rot in that place between work and relaxation. Where you keep saying you need to do some work, so you don't let yourself do anything that's actually fun, but you don't actually do any work. So you spend the day feeling bad. EGM came home early to rescue me -- we went on a walk, and now I've given up on working and I'm trying to enjoy the rest of the evening. I can't afford any more days like this before I defend!

RBOiPOD

• I haven't used my green iPod Nano all that much since I bought it a couple of months ago. I really can't handle music while I read or write, and I haven't been in the lab all that much. But it has been very nice when I have been in the lab. Now that the semester has started, I will likely be taking public transportation more often, and I will use it then.
  
• I have used it to motivate me to jog on a few occassions, but I need to be better about that.
  
• I like to use it while walking too, but there is a problem I need to get over. I have an uncontrollable urge to walk in step with the music, owing to marching band indoctrination Seriously, marching band ruined me for walking at my own pace when there is music. So songs that aren't the right tempo are a problem. Since a lot of my favorite songs have a danceable beat, it is a significant problem.
  
• The ear buds are uncomfortable, and they pop out of my ears. EGM finds this baffling, since he always says that I have extra large ear holes. I guess my ear holes are big compared to my head, but still smaller than most people's ear holes?
• I've only bought three songs from iTunes (Just Dance, Sexy Back, and Sufjan Stevens's Chicago). However, I'm nearly finished with lab work (woo-hoo!), so I might do like ScienceWoman and buy some songs to celebrate.
• Most of the music came from cds that I had ripped to my computer at one time or another, so there is all this weird rap and stuff from cds that my ex-boyfriend burned. Unfortunately, the titles for most of the music that came from burned cds didn't come with the songs, so I don't know which songs are which when I do the sync thing. Maybe after I defend, I will take the time to listen to each song and edit the titles. Maybe I will also upload music from more of my cds then too.
  

Don't give me shit and call it ice cream.

A friend of Eastern European origin once shared this phrase with me, and I love it.

I'm currently trying to turn shit into ice cream in the form of my next chapter/paper. It's the least interesting part of my of my Ph.D. work. The data were collected mainly to provide baseline information for another study, but it took so much effort that I wanted to get something more from it (remember the counter I had going on my sidebar a while back? it's that project). Unfortunately, some of the findings contradict one of the main conclusions from the first chapter/paper, and I think it's because the design of this second study kind of sucks. However, I can't just say that, nor can I present explicitly contradictory data. For one thing, I don't want to completely undermine the ongoing study before I even collect the data from it.

So, what to do? The design has specific weaknesses that are quite common in my field. But honestly, I think that the natural phenomenon I am trying to describe interacts with those weaknesses in a way that enhances them. When others have tried to address the same question, they sometimes find result A, occasionally find result B, and sometimes find no difference between A and B. I think I need to take a look at the experimental design that generated each result to see if there are trends. Perhaps result A is only possible to detect if you have the proper design? Maybe all the studies that find B or no difference use this common, yet crappy design? I suppose that would be sort of interesting.