- EGM and I decided to get married, and together we picked out the most awesomely awesome engagement ring.
- I think I have finally experienced sexism at work first-hand. I'm going to keep an eye on things before I decide if the situation represented something systematic or if it was merely coincidental.
- It has been a very nice spring, and I am just itching to get my garden started.
- Crafting emails that convey the tone I intend is apparently difficult for me.
- After being adamant that I'm not going to attend my commencement ceremony, I'm starting to think it might be a nice thing to do.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Preview
I don't know why I haven't been blogging lately. I'm going to list a few potential topics to maybe help me get back in the swing of things.
Monday, March 1, 2010
On waiting
How much time should a coauthor be allowed for reviewing a manuscript before it is submitted? How long is too long? At what point do you feel it is appropriate to start complaining? Or making ultimatums?
What if that coauthor is your advisor?
What if that coauthor is your student?
Personally, I think things are going pretty well if all coauthors respond to a request for feedback within a month. Gentle reminders are appropriate beginning about three weeks after the coauthors receive the manuscript, and can increase in frequency and sternness of tone after that. I think three months is too long, unless there are extenuating circumstances, and is the point at which serious complaining may start. I can't imagine making an ultimatum to an advisor or coauthor who made a major contribution, but I can imagine engaging in hard-core whining.
Am I off base?
In other news, we successfully added a second computer to our wireless network with absolutely no drama. The new router is teh awesome.
What if that coauthor is your advisor?
What if that coauthor is your student?
Personally, I think things are going pretty well if all coauthors respond to a request for feedback within a month. Gentle reminders are appropriate beginning about three weeks after the coauthors receive the manuscript, and can increase in frequency and sternness of tone after that. I think three months is too long, unless there are extenuating circumstances, and is the point at which serious complaining may start. I can't imagine making an ultimatum to an advisor or coauthor who made a major contribution, but I can imagine engaging in hard-core whining.
Am I off base?
In other news, we successfully added a second computer to our wireless network with absolutely no drama. The new router is teh awesome.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Research continuity
I've written before that my research is interdisciplinary, and alluded to the fact that my postdoc is taking that to a whole new level. My PhD work crossed two main subjects: A and B. My postdoc research is still about A and B, but also includes C (which I knew a little about from my work in A), D, E, and possibly a little bit of Z. These letters stand for disciplines that could have their own department at any typical American university. Z is radically different from the rest.
Learning all this new stuff is exciting and overwhelming. Fortunately, I still get to work with my PhD research adviser on the A and B, so there is something familiar among all the new stuff. In fact, a big part of my job is to help develop this new highly interdisciplinary research by building the relationships between the A+B people, the C+D people, the E people, and maybe even the Z people. So far it's cool, but much more complex than anything I've done before. The science is complex, obviously, but the interpersonal/management aspects are also tricky.
I'm glad there are at least a few familiar personalities in the mix to ease the transition into this new research. I'm finding that I'm more excited to go to work than I have been in a very long time, and that the days just fly by. But I'm also so tired by the end of the week, even when it feels like I hardly did anything. It takes a lot of effort to learn (which is probably why kids need so much sleep!), so it's good that my whole world didn't change all at once. I'm still with EGM of course, we didn't have to move for this postdoc, I still get to interact with Research Adviser, and I still get to work on my PhD topic, albeit in a very expanded way. It's comforting to have some measure of continuity as I embark on new research territory.
scientiae-carnival
Learning all this new stuff is exciting and overwhelming. Fortunately, I still get to work with my PhD research adviser on the A and B, so there is something familiar among all the new stuff. In fact, a big part of my job is to help develop this new highly interdisciplinary research by building the relationships between the A+B people, the C+D people, the E people, and maybe even the Z people. So far it's cool, but much more complex than anything I've done before. The science is complex, obviously, but the interpersonal/management aspects are also tricky.
I'm glad there are at least a few familiar personalities in the mix to ease the transition into this new research. I'm finding that I'm more excited to go to work than I have been in a very long time, and that the days just fly by. But I'm also so tired by the end of the week, even when it feels like I hardly did anything. It takes a lot of effort to learn (which is probably why kids need so much sleep!), so it's good that my whole world didn't change all at once. I'm still with EGM of course, we didn't have to move for this postdoc, I still get to interact with Research Adviser, and I still get to work on my PhD topic, albeit in a very expanded way. It's comforting to have some measure of continuity as I embark on new research territory.
scientiae-carnival
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
ScienceGirl's Baby Shower!
ScienceGirl may not have a great big network in her new town to help her raise her new baby, but she sure does have a lot of love on the internets. I want to thank everyone for contributing to our virtual baby shower for ScienceGirl, and making this a group of posts that she will be able to reread in the future. Hopefully these posts will help her remember that even though we aren't there in person, she has many people all over the world who have her back. We all seem to share a deep confidence that ScienceGirl will make a wonderful mother, and to want to remind her to trust her instincts while taking care of herself too.
Without further ado, let's get this party started!
ScientistMother says that a happy mommy leads to a happy baby, so remember to take care of yourself! Chall adds that you shouldn't stress about being perfect, and recommends some clothing choices for when the baby is small. A couple of guests elaborated on the futility of striving for perfection by noting that early problems don't always persist. Beaker Half Full shared a story about the challenge of leaving her baby brother at daycare to illustrate that even things that seem heartbreaking probably aren't as bad as you think, and Short Geologist reminded us all that a perceived weakness in childhood don't always last into adulthood. Very reassuring!
A baby shower staple is recommendations for good books. You undoubtedly already have plenty to read, but let us suggest some favorites. Amelie offered a list of her childhood favorites, encompassing a wide range of delightful stories that will be appropriate for your daughter as she grows up. Karina recommended Free Range Kids, which she says is about raising "independent, confident kids". I described a book that may help with showing love in your family when things get challenging.
Several seasoned moms offered some advice straight from the trenches. LabMom says to trust yourself, don't fall into the martyr trap, accept help, be proud of your identity as a parent, and don't feel guilty to admit that some parts of the job suck. BeanMom also offers some extremely practical advice, from poop to sleep to support groups to remember to enjoy it while it lasts (or be patient until it's over, if it's something suckful). Rebecca too reminded you to remember that "this too shall pass" and to not be too hard on yourself. In fact, the fleeting nature of child development seems to be an emergent theme at this party. We're having a lengthy conversation at this shower about how you have to remind yourself that the colic and poop won't last and you have to savor the joys when they come. Jennie wants to be sure that you try to remain grateful for it all, and Mad Hatter thinks that won't be too hard if a baby is anything like a dog (as she suspects), since the things that suck (like waking up to the sound of vomit in the night) will pale in comparison to the joy your baby will bring.
A baby shower wouldn't be complete without some fun and games, and Fia and Cath came through with some laughs. Fia suggested some hilarious-looking parenting aids, and Cath shared a great joke about the work load of a mother - funny, of course, because it can be all too true! Makita reminded us that kids have their own personalities from day 1, and made us laugh too with a story about how her kid could spill the soup before he was even born! Banshee wanted to play a game, and so gave you some advice to draw from a hat when you need it. I propose we play another little game--it's probably too late to start a pool on the baby's birth date, but we could guess her birth weight. Party guests, please leave a comment with your guess, and hopefully ScienceGirl won't mind telling us who is closest. I suggest we play for bragging rights rather than a potted plant. :)
Lin and Amanda spoke for all of us, I think, when they expressed their confidence in your ability, ScienceGirl. Your training in grad school, your discipline in running, and your consistently balanced and positive outlook will no doubt be assets on your journey through motherhood!
So please, everyone, eat a cupcake in honor of ScienceGirl, her husband, and her very-soon-to-arrive baby. On behalf of everyone, I'd like to say congratulations and best wishes in your new life with baby!
If I missed any posts, it was most certainly not intentional, so please let me know and I will correct my mistake!
Without further ado, let's get this party started!
ScientistMother says that a happy mommy leads to a happy baby, so remember to take care of yourself! Chall adds that you shouldn't stress about being perfect, and recommends some clothing choices for when the baby is small. A couple of guests elaborated on the futility of striving for perfection by noting that early problems don't always persist. Beaker Half Full shared a story about the challenge of leaving her baby brother at daycare to illustrate that even things that seem heartbreaking probably aren't as bad as you think, and Short Geologist reminded us all that a perceived weakness in childhood don't always last into adulthood. Very reassuring!
A baby shower staple is recommendations for good books. You undoubtedly already have plenty to read, but let us suggest some favorites. Amelie offered a list of her childhood favorites, encompassing a wide range of delightful stories that will be appropriate for your daughter as she grows up. Karina recommended Free Range Kids, which she says is about raising "independent, confident kids". I described a book that may help with showing love in your family when things get challenging.
Several seasoned moms offered some advice straight from the trenches. LabMom says to trust yourself, don't fall into the martyr trap, accept help, be proud of your identity as a parent, and don't feel guilty to admit that some parts of the job suck. BeanMom also offers some extremely practical advice, from poop to sleep to support groups to remember to enjoy it while it lasts (or be patient until it's over, if it's something suckful). Rebecca too reminded you to remember that "this too shall pass" and to not be too hard on yourself. In fact, the fleeting nature of child development seems to be an emergent theme at this party. We're having a lengthy conversation at this shower about how you have to remind yourself that the colic and poop won't last and you have to savor the joys when they come. Jennie wants to be sure that you try to remain grateful for it all, and Mad Hatter thinks that won't be too hard if a baby is anything like a dog (as she suspects), since the things that suck (like waking up to the sound of vomit in the night) will pale in comparison to the joy your baby will bring.
A baby shower wouldn't be complete without some fun and games, and Fia and Cath came through with some laughs. Fia suggested some hilarious-looking parenting aids, and Cath shared a great joke about the work load of a mother - funny, of course, because it can be all too true! Makita reminded us that kids have their own personalities from day 1, and made us laugh too with a story about how her kid could spill the soup before he was even born! Banshee wanted to play a game, and so gave you some advice to draw from a hat when you need it. I propose we play another little game--it's probably too late to start a pool on the baby's birth date, but we could guess her birth weight. Party guests, please leave a comment with your guess, and hopefully ScienceGirl won't mind telling us who is closest. I suggest we play for bragging rights rather than a potted plant. :)
Lin and Amanda spoke for all of us, I think, when they expressed their confidence in your ability, ScienceGirl. Your training in grad school, your discipline in running, and your consistently balanced and positive outlook will no doubt be assets on your journey through motherhood!
So please, everyone, eat a cupcake in honor of ScienceGirl, her husband, and her very-soon-to-arrive baby. On behalf of everyone, I'd like to say congratulations and best wishes in your new life with baby!
If I missed any posts, it was most certainly not intentional, so please let me know and I will correct my mistake!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Love Languages
After much thought, I decided to share my experience with a book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, for ScienceGirl's baby shower. The thesis of the book is that how we give and receive love governs how we function in loving relationships whether that be with our spouse, our parents, or our children. Basically, we all give and receive love in five main ways: physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, and acts of service. Everyone can experience all five love languages, but most of us have one that is most important, our primary love language.
Think about this: how did you know your mother loved you? Was it because she always told you? words of affirmation Or because she packed your lunch every day? acts of service Perhaps you had a morning ritual involving lots of cuddling. physical touch/quality time You see where I'm going with this. No love language is better or worse than any other, but we all have one (or maybe two) that we understand best. It's nice if you and your loved ones share a primary love language, but it's ok if you don't. However, it's good to be cognizant of different love languages and how they can shape our behavior in relationships. Sometimes we are trying to show our love for someone, but that person has trouble feeling it because it's the wrong love language for her.
In addition to a primary love language, we all have an internal "love tank" that can empty and fill depending on circumstances in our lives and the health of our relationships. Being spoken to in our primary love language is the best way to fill the tank and keep us feeling our best.
Why I am I writing this for my baby shower post? This love language concept can be particularly important and useful for raising kids. In fact, Chapman has a whole book devoted to love languages in parenting. Typically, an individual's primary language isn't evident until about age four, so it's critical for parents to "speak" in all of them when children are young. Even after you think you have identified your child's primary love language, you should still use all of them. But, you may want to emphasize the one that is most important to your child, and you may want to consider it when you invoke punishments. For instance, a child whose primary love language is quality time will find being sent to her room particularly harsh. By the same token, keeping a kid's love tank full can promote self confidence, good behavior, and healthy relationships.
There are a series of Five Love Language books targeted to the various types of relationships we encounter, including one specifically about children and one about teenagers. They have a fair bit of Christian content, e.g. Bible quotes, but that's easy enough to overlook if you want. Although the language can be a bit cheesy ("love tank"?), I have found the five love languages thesis has been crucial for my relationship with EGM as well as other important relationships in my life.
ScienceGirl, lots of other bloggers have offered their best practical advice - to take of yourself and your marriage so you can be the best possible mom to your little one. I encourage you to read a FLL book (or visit the related website) to give you another tool to do just that. Identify your love languages so you and your husband can keep each other's love tanks full throughout the very challenging (and rewarding!) time ahead of you, and you'll be able to keep your daughter's tank full too. The rest should fall into place.
Think about this: how did you know your mother loved you? Was it because she always told you? words of affirmation Or because she packed your lunch every day? acts of service Perhaps you had a morning ritual involving lots of cuddling. physical touch/quality time You see where I'm going with this. No love language is better or worse than any other, but we all have one (or maybe two) that we understand best. It's nice if you and your loved ones share a primary love language, but it's ok if you don't. However, it's good to be cognizant of different love languages and how they can shape our behavior in relationships. Sometimes we are trying to show our love for someone, but that person has trouble feeling it because it's the wrong love language for her.
In addition to a primary love language, we all have an internal "love tank" that can empty and fill depending on circumstances in our lives and the health of our relationships. Being spoken to in our primary love language is the best way to fill the tank and keep us feeling our best.
Why I am I writing this for my baby shower post? This love language concept can be particularly important and useful for raising kids. In fact, Chapman has a whole book devoted to love languages in parenting. Typically, an individual's primary language isn't evident until about age four, so it's critical for parents to "speak" in all of them when children are young. Even after you think you have identified your child's primary love language, you should still use all of them. But, you may want to emphasize the one that is most important to your child, and you may want to consider it when you invoke punishments. For instance, a child whose primary love language is quality time will find being sent to her room particularly harsh. By the same token, keeping a kid's love tank full can promote self confidence, good behavior, and healthy relationships.
There are a series of Five Love Language books targeted to the various types of relationships we encounter, including one specifically about children and one about teenagers. They have a fair bit of Christian content, e.g. Bible quotes, but that's easy enough to overlook if you want. Although the language can be a bit cheesy ("love tank"?), I have found the five love languages thesis has been crucial for my relationship with EGM as well as other important relationships in my life.
ScienceGirl, lots of other bloggers have offered their best practical advice - to take of yourself and your marriage so you can be the best possible mom to your little one. I encourage you to read a FLL book (or visit the related website) to give you another tool to do just that. Identify your love languages so you and your husband can keep each other's love tanks full throughout the very challenging (and rewarding!) time ahead of you, and you'll be able to keep your daughter's tank full too. The rest should fall into place.
More burps
I spent two hours on the phone with Belkin (the manufacturer of my wireless router) tech support last night and my internets are still fucking broken. In fact, it's worse now than before I called them; before I could at least connect using the ethernet cable, but now I can't even do that. I spoke to two different technicians plus a rep from my ISP. At last, after nothing worked, the Belkin tech said he was going to transfer me to a senior technician. I was put on hold, and then I heard a message along the lines of "this is an unauthorized transfer. click". The fuckers hung up on me! So today I'm going to buy a new router, throw the Belkin router out the window, and maybe I'll be able to make the baby shower happen.
Right now I'm breaking my personal rule and posting this from work, but I really don't want to handle the baby shower stuff here. I'm really sorry for the flakiness. I know everyone made a big effort to write posts for my deadline, and now I can't follow through. ScienceGirl, don't have your baby yet, ok?!?!?
Right now I'm breaking my personal rule and posting this from work, but I really don't want to handle the baby shower stuff here. I'm really sorry for the flakiness. I know everyone made a big effort to write posts for my deadline, and now I can't follow through. ScienceGirl, don't have your baby yet, ok?!?!?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Internet burp
Um, I'm having a bit of trouble* with my connection, so the baby shower carnival post (and my post for it!) might be late. Those of you who emailed me in the last few hours will definitely be in, and any stragglers can still sneak something in too!
* I think it's the same trouble I have every time someone adds a computer to the wireless network. There's some issue with the computers competing for IP addresses or something, and they end up like, blocking each other. The only way to fix it seems to be an hour-long call with tech support to completely reset the router or something. What sucks is that my old computer is the one that has to do the reset, I guess because the network was initially set up on it. But the reset thing requires plugging in an ethernet cable, and my old computer is literally crumbling around where the ethernet cable plugs in, so it's very difficult to establish a connection that way. Sigh. I'm currently sitting behind the tv with my laptop connected to the modem via a short ethernet cable, which just won't do for more than a few minutes, thus the delayed baby shower. Sorry SG!
* I think it's the same trouble I have every time someone adds a computer to the wireless network. There's some issue with the computers competing for IP addresses or something, and they end up like, blocking each other. The only way to fix it seems to be an hour-long call with tech support to completely reset the router or something. What sucks is that my old computer is the one that has to do the reset, I guess because the network was initially set up on it. But the reset thing requires plugging in an ethernet cable, and my old computer is literally crumbling around where the ethernet cable plugs in, so it's very difficult to establish a connection that way. Sigh. I'm currently sitting behind the tv with my laptop connected to the modem via a short ethernet cable, which just won't do for more than a few minutes, thus the delayed baby shower. Sorry SG!
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