Only just

Lately I've been feeling like I'm only just keeping on top of things. For example, I ran out of checks a couple of months ago. I write one check a month, to EGM for half the rent. So I've been able to procrastinate getting more because I could just get cash for him. But now he's away so I have to send a check for the rent. I finally ordered them, but none too soon. In another case, I spaced getting my sex pills refilled. I managed to pick up the prescription 5 mins before the pharmacy closed on Saturday (it's closed on Sundays). I needed the pills on Sunday.

Other than elevating my stress level, there's not really a problem with only just making it. Nothing has been overdue. The checks will come before I have to post the rent. I got the pills in time. My brother's Christmas gift should arrive before the 25th. To an outside observer, I probably look like I totally have my act together. But I don't feel like I do. I would like to feel all smug and virtuous for efficiently doing all my chores and errands. Oh well.

Happy Solstice!

There's still a lot of winter left, but at least we're on the upswing now!

Unless you're in the southern hemisphere, in which case: mwah-ha-ha-ha!

What am I forgetting?

This year I only had to buy one Christmas gift. I went in with some of my sibs for gifts for my mom and dad, we all go in together for gifts for the nieces and nephews*, I don't exchange with any friends, and EGM and I are getting a new t.v., so we decided not to get each other any presents. If we were together on Christmas, I think there'd be temptation to get some small things for each other, but since he'll still be away it's not an issue. So the only present I had to get was for my secret santa sibling who lives in another state. I ordered something online, so I didn't even really have to shop for that. It feels weird, like I'm forgetting something.

I also feel a little out of control with my paper. The corrections Research Advisor suggested are taking way longer than I thought they would. Most of them were changes to the text, but some of them required going back to the data. I've kind of been going back and forth from text to data, and that has made me feel a little confused about what is still left to do. Also, I discovered some small errors in my spreadsheet, which had me kind of heart broken. How could I possibly have mistakes after all the times I've combed through those spreadsheets? What other mistakes might be lurking? How can I ever be a Good Scientist if I have errors in data that I am this close to submitting? I think the problems arose from having multiple versions of the same files, i.e. one saved on my work desktop, one on my usb stick, and on my laptop, plus ones where I played around with different analyses and stuff. Boo.

I had a snow day yesterday, which I spent trying very hard to stay focused on work. Though I wasted plenty of time looking at blogs and such, I don't think I worked any less than if I had sat in traffic trying to get to work in the ice and snow. Not really a net gain. But I went to the lab today because I needed to use some software that I don't have on my laptop and I got tons done with hardly any goofing off (there were certain things I really wanted to finish while there, and I wanted to get out of there before weather got bad again). At this point, I think I'm very close to finishing RA's revisions. Hopefully I can send the manuscript to all three coauthors sometime tomorrow. With any luck, they'll be able to look over it quickly, tell me it's fine, and then I'll still be able to submit it before break. I'm not holding my breath that things will move that quickly, though.

*I wrote about our system for niece/nephew presents last year, but it's worth sharing again. There are 14 children in that generation of my family. They all have way too much stuff, and it would be really expensive and time consuming for each of us to buy a separate gift for each one of them. So, we all put in $10/per kid (not much, really) and get one item for all the kids in each family. For example, last year S2's kids got a basketball hoop. This year, their other grandparents are getting them a wii, so we are buying them games for it. Most of the other kids will get family memberships to museums, the zoo, nature center, etc. It works out great for everyone.

100 Things I've Done

I've seen this at several different blogs and decided to do it myself.
Bold means I've done it. Italics mean it's one of the 5 on this list that I'd most like to do.

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii (#1 dream vacation)
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world (I marched in the evening parade with my high school marching band. It was AWESOME, wasn't it BFF?)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis (I'm not sure why this is on such a list. Is there some superstition I don't know?)
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped (not appealing. especially since EGM has inculcated me with his fear of detached retinas.)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightning at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch (if knitting and walking on stilts count)
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked (this would be fun if it were safe enough.)
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (well, I've definitely been inefficient when I "worked at home" but I've never truly played hookey.)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb (again, is there something I'm missing here? why would I want to hold a lamb?)
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon (not appealing.)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset (I frequently see the sunrise -- it's so cool when the great orange disk slides up above the horizon so quickly you can detect the movement. I've only seen a sunset like that once.)
31. Hit a home run (something I have certainly fantasized about, but just in the context of backyard games. I'm always last picked.)
32. Been on a cruise (would love to, but it's a low priority, vacation-wise. Although I guess I did go on a 1-night cruise on the Baltic Sea. There wasn't much beside a disco, so it's not what comes to mind when someone says "cruise".)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person (sounds like wet, short-lived excitement.)
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors (there are other places I'd rather see.)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language (another thing I've daydreamed doing.)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (when I was in college with a part-time job, I had plenty of pocket money for beer with some left over. So not enough in the wider sense, but I was satisfied in the here-and-now sense.)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David (not especially appleaing.)
41. Sung karaoke (I'd love to do this, but EGM doesn't like me to sing. Given that he loves most everything else I do, I take his word for it that no one else would like to hear me sing, either.)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa (I'd quite like to see Africa, but I'm not sure what the ideal circumstances would be. I'd love to do fieldwork in the Sahel, but I'm not sure I have the nerve.)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted (Not appealing. My sister's kids had this done. Apparently it's not all it's cracked up to be.)
48. Gone deep sea fishing (I'm not sure what qualifies, but I've fished just far enough out that I couldn't see the shore.)
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business (I'm counting the hard core lemonade stand business al a Babysitter's Club I had when I was a kid)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching (I've wanted to do this ever since I saw "Castaway" even though I know it wouldn't be like that.
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving (not appealing)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt (not appealing.)
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades (another trip I'd love to make)
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (This is one of my dream vacations. I WILL do it someday soon enough that I'm fit enough to enjoy it. I was seriously envious of Rebecca's recent trip.)
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (shortly after I graduated college and started my tech job. It was so exciting! Until I went back to school and still had to make payments.)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible (not appealing)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (just fish)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury (it was just like Law & Order)
91. Met someone famous (I fantasize about this occasionally. In a "Notting Hill" kind of way. I'm sure Brad Pitt would LOVE to play Cranium with me and my friends.)
92. Joined a book club (haven't do this, although I would like to.)
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Ridden an elephant (at the zoo)

Motivation survey results

Now that a full week has passed since I posted this hastily composed work motivation survey, it's time to check out the responses. As it happens, I chose a question format that is somewhat difficult to interpret, especially with small number of responses. Thus, I simply noted the average rating for each response. The smaller the number, the more importance people assigned to the response, on average. Unfortunately, since it didn't occur to me to offer the same number of responses for each question, it's a little hard to compare the average ratings across questions (a possible average rating for Q4 could be 6 whereas the highest average rating for a response to Q3 is only 4) so I divided the average rating by the number of possible responses when I wanted to make generalizations among questions (not shown) .

So what might we have learned from this exercise? You may remember that the initial dialog centered on fear of scoopage. I now feel comfortable saying that fear of being scooped is not the primary work motivation for most people. Interestingly, the ranking of "love of science" increased (smaller numbers mean higher rank) after tenure (although the sample size decreased). It appears that, before tenure, both students and faculty find their primary motivation in the sheer volume of work they feel they must accomplish to reach the next career milestone. Still, love of science ranked pretty high. In contrast, prestige great enough to warrant the throwing of little pickles by a thousand naked women was not an important driver of overtime work. Go figure. The value people place on the opinions of their colleagues stays pretty constant until tenure, when it plummets. Ditto for bosses.

Social scientists certainly have a handy tool with their skills at designing surveys. There were clearly plenty of weaknesses with this one, notably the omission of a question directed at post docs, as Sciencemama pointed out. Sorry post docs. I had intended the thing to be just one question, but I got sucked in by the shininess of SurveyMonkey. Then I forgot you.


Okay, so here's the summary of the responses. The average rating follows each response.

Question 1. What is your primary motivation for working >40 hours per week?
32 responses

I'm worried I'll get scooped 3.96
I need to work a ton of hours to have the output necessary to get a job/tenure 2.25
My boss/advisor will disapprove if I don't 2.78
My colleagues will disapprove if I don't 3.66
For the love of scientific inquiry, what else? 2.16

Question 2. For grad students: If you feel obligated to work long hours, why?
19 responses

My advisor will think poorly of me if I don't 2.84
Other students will think poorly of me if I don't 3.79
I think it's necessary in order to amass enough work to graduate in a reasonable time 2.11
I want grad school to be as short as possible -- the ore hours I work each week, the fewer weeks I have to spend in this hell hole 3.06
I just love science! The more time I can spend with science, the happier I am! 2.95

Question 3. For non-tenured faculty: If you feel obligated to work long hours in order to achieve tenure, why?
7 responses

It's not possible to accomplish everything necessary for tenure in 40 hours/week. 1.50
My department chair/review committee will think I'm a slacker 2.29
My colleagues will think poorly of me, which will be apparent in my letters 3.00
Who care about tenure? I do it for the love, you insignificant, whiny student! 2.17

Question 4. For tenured faculty or non-tenure track real job people: why do you work so much?
5 responses

To be competitive for funding 2.40
For the prestige! I see myself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at me*. 5.60
For the love of science. duh. 1.60
Because all these over anxious students are always hounding me to read their papers and teach their courses and write their recommendations. wah, wah, wah. 3.75
To keep my boss happy. 4.20
To keep myself marketable in case I want to change jobs. 2.60


This line comes from the 1985 classic Real Genius, known to some as "The Popcorn Movie".

Redirective feedback

Long-time readers may recognize some of the content of this post from a while back, but whatev. I wanted to share it again.

Awesome Technician occasionally goes to professional development workshops offered by our HR department and she's patient enough to share the wisdom with me afterward. One such class was about giving and receiving feedback, both positive and negative redirective. These classes can have some real gems of insight, stuff that's common sense but hard to identify. This one was particularly good, as it offered some counter-intuitive, yet sensible advice. Here, I have tried to relay as much as I can remember to you, dear reader.

First of all, the class claims that, contrary to conventional wisdom, it is not good to start negative feedback with a positive statement. It can

• confuse the listener -- was she saying I did a good job or a bad job?
• water down the praise -- people are more likely to remember the negative things, so the positives get lost
• lead to mistrust -- any future praise is met with anticipation of a "but"

It's better just to give positive feedback when it is warranted. When you're on the receiving end of positive comments, it's best to just say "thank you" rather than things like, "it was no big deal" or "so-and-so really did most of that project". You want to graciously accept the praise, take credit for your work, and contribute to a positive atmosphere.

Another poor opener for negative feedback is something like "I know you've been busy, but..." Don't supply the listener's excuses for her! You want the conversation to be focused on how to change behaviors so work goes more smoothly. An excuse parade doesn't accomplish that, it restricts the discussion to shallow lip-service without getting to the core of the problem.

A feedback conversation can also be derailed by ranting or venting. Vent to your friends! Don't waste work time with inefficient ranting that just makes people feel bad. You want the conversation to be positive so you can make progress toward fixing your problem. It's emotional enough to give negative feedback (for both parties) without adding a lot of hot-headed nonsense to the mix. Plus, the heart of the problem and how to solve it may not be clear to the listener if it is buried in a litany of emotional complaints.

So what should you say when you need to convey dissatisfaction? It's important to keep it brief (under 60 sec, although the resulting conversation may be much longer) and to the point. You should boil the problem down to a simple, clear statement, say how it's affecting your work, and then open the conversation up for discussion of solutions. Try to use your most calm and neutral tone.

1. Start by stating the problem.
   
2. Then say how the person's behavior is part of the problem.
3. Next, say how the problem is affecting you, your colleagues, or your productivity.
4. End with a question to kick off the discussion.

For example, you might say something like, "Lately, we have been running out of certain reagents even though there is a system in place to prevent that. 1 It's really a problem when you use the last of the reagent without ordering more. 2 Several times I have had to abort an experiment because the critical reagent was gone even though I had checked the supply the day before. That's a poor use of my time and lab resources, since the other supplies I used to initiate the experiment went to waste. 3 What ways can we make the reagent organization and ordering process clearer and easier so that this doesn't happen again? 4"

Hopefully, this will encourage the person to own up to their poor lab citizenship and either get their A into G to quit using everyone else's shit or to say that there really is a wrinkle in the system that could be ironed out.

Finally!

Research Advisor finally read my paper! Yay!!!11!!1!!!11!

She provided tons of comments, but nothing really major. It's mostly word-smithing and clarifying the logic in some passages plus rearranging a couple of tables. Two more substantial changes require a tweak to the stats using a method that is new to me (she explained how to do it, but I'm not sure I'll be able to pull it off on my own) and some retooling of a "broader context/implications" paragraph on which I will need to work with Academic Advisor. They will both be gone next week, but if I can get through everything else before then, there's still a chance I could submit it before the break.

I did have the opportunity and the mangoes to provide some "redirective" feedback that opened up a discussion on how this 9-month delay in comments happened and what we can do to prevent it in the future. That will be a separate post because I want to delete this series about RA specifically, but keeps pieces that are more general.