Double whammy weekend

This year, I share my birthday with Jesus' resurrection (zombie day?), so Ecogeoman and I are dutifully off to my hometown for the weekend. I think we'll have fun. We're going to spend Saturday evening with my BFF and some other friends and then Sunday will be a family Easter extravaganza, complete with an egg hunt and many arguments over peanut butter eggs which are the centerpiece of our candy cap-and-trade system. We're taking Monday off to drive back home at a leisurely pace.

I'm really excited about going away for the weekend. EGM has been so stressed and busy with work and I could use a break as well. I am not, however, too excited about this birthday, 29. I have clear childhood memories of my mom teasing my sister-in-law about aging, saying she should say she was 29 when she was well past 30. Not an novel joke, but one I heard so young that it stuck with me. It makes me feel now that I have only the last crumb of my youth left to savor. But, I can take heart that no matter now old I get, I will always be fresh compared to my siblings!

I was raised by cannibals

The Bean-Mom recently wrote about how she teases her children with threats of cannibalism (you’re so cute I could eat you up. But I’m not food, Mommy!). I too, had to fear being eaten by my parents and siblings, along with many other torments. Commenting on Bean-Mom’s blog inspired me to write a post about some of the most creative teasing I endured as a child.

First a little back story: I’m the youngest of seven children (yes, my parents are Catholic). The oldest six were born over the course of just nine years. Then my parents went on a nine year child production hiatus before I was born. So my sibs range from 9 to 18 years older than me (we all have the same two parents). I would also like to say upfront that I feel I was raised in a loving and happy house and that I really think this stuff is funny rather than traumatizing.

Okay, the torture stories of my youth:

• When I was an infant who could crawl, my sisters would sit in a circle with me in the middle. They would all call my name to get me to go to one of them, which they decided would indicate who my favorite was (at six months!). The story goes that I would usually end up confused and crying in the middle.
• My mom used to sing this song to me, “found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut in a shell” in a way that indicated I was the peanut. I just loved that song. Of course, the lyrics go on to say that the peanut was rotten and induced vomiting.
• Both my mom and siblings often said how they intended to put me into a clothes dryer to shrink me so I would stay a cute little kid forever.
• My siblings had me actually convinced that I was adopted. They told me which house down the street I came from and how that family couldn’t take care of me so our parents took me in. They had good evidence. They cited the extreme age difference between the older kids and me and how years before, when my parents had six kids between the ages of 2 and 11, they had taken in a foster child for a year.
• My siblings told me that I was really the oldest, but that I had a disease that kept me from growing. They said that our parents had decided that everyone should act like I was the youngest so I wouldn’t feel bad about not growing.
• This one's not really teasing, but I remember going to bars and frat parties starting when I was 3, until the last sister who went to an out-of-town college graduated when I was about 12. The kids who were younger than the one at college got to go visit for “little sibs weekend”. Can you believe my mom let her 16-year-old drive her three youngest kids, including her 3-year-old the four hours to visit their college freshman sister? To be fair, my mom now can’t believe she let that happen either.

The worst part of all of this is that my sisters and brothers have produced thirteen wonderful nieces and nephews who I’m not really allowed to tease. Those diabolical teenagers grew into adults who think it’s not nice to tease their adorable children. The injustice!

Sister time

I just spent 24 lovely hours with S2 (my sister) and her friends. She had a very stressful 2007, so her husband conspired with her friend to get her some R &R. I live in a more interesting city about 6 hours from where they live, so two of S2’s friends brought her here for the weekend. We spent Saturday downtown, shopping and walking around, and had afternoon tea in a fancy restaurant (nice, but sounds better than it was). Then this morning, I took her to get her hair cut by the same woman who cut mine last week. It was a fun and spontaneous thing to do and she looks great.

I miss living near my family so much. I’m sure that if I lived near them, I would spend tons of time hanging out with my sibs and their kids. When I’m bored here, I often think how great it would be to call up one of my sisters to just hang out with no plan. I feel like now if I call a friend, I have to invite them to do some specific activity, not just chill.

On the other hand, I don’t think my sibs could ever really substitute for friends. When I choose friends, I look for people with similar views so I can relax and be myself. In fact, I’m probably a little closed minded in some ways, e.g. I am not open to racist, homophobic, grossly materialistic, etc. people. I didn’t choose my family and I will love them unconditionally, so I steer clear of topics about which I suspect we disagree. I would stop nurturing a friendship with someone who has really different values, but I’m never going to drop a family member. In that sense, I feel like I keep big chunks of my personality out of my family’s view. But the unconditional love sure is nice.

That Nagging Feeling

We're still in my hometown enjoying the holiday with my family. On Thursday there were something like 30 people at my sister's house for dinner, which was fun. Yesterday, I went S1, S2, S4, and B2 to see our uncle who has been sick and living in a retirement/assisted living/nursing home for a little over a year. It was a great visit. Afterwards, we went out for pizza at my favorite place which is only found in this city. Then a long day of hanging out with a variety of family, with people coming and going from S2's new house until midnight. Ecogeoman got to see a movie with S2's husband, which is his favorite leisure activity. A great day. Today we don't really have any plans until my high school reunion this evening.

So it has been a good holiday and I haven't done any work or really thought about work too much. But it's there. That little twinge of guilt, the little nagging feeling is just at the very back of my thoughts. I guess I should feel good that it's not looming near the front as it is for ecogeoman, who has been studying his work stuff all morning. I am pretty good at turning it off most of the time. When I get home from work, I usually leave it behind and do home stuff at home. And it works the other way too, where all but the biggest life problems are forgotten when I'm at the lab. But I know that I have a TON of work to do before the big meeting in December at which I am giving my first big oral presentation. I feel guilty that more isn't done already, that I won't make my (self-imposed) goals for the year, etc. I would feel equally guilty if I tried to work on my presentation here, since that's not what I am supposed to be doing over Thanksgiving. I wish I didn't carry this guilt and I wonder if people with other professional jobs have it as well. Certainly it's not exclusive to scientists, but I wonder if it is as strong in early stages of other careers as it is for us. I also wonder what's going to happen when (if) I have more responsibility, like children or my own lab.


Well, that's a downer. For the rest of the day, I'm just going to be thankful that I'm here, my parents are healthy, my family is happy, and ecogeoman is with me. And that I have something interesting to say about myself and something cute to wear and a boyfriend with a cool accent to bring to that high school reunion.

My Thanksgiving Tradition

We’re off to another midwest city tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I always enjoy the Thanksgiving break because it’s a long enough visit that I get to relax with my family; usually our trips there are so rushed. All but two of my six siblings will be there with seven of my thirteen nieces and nephews. Chaotic, but very fun.

I always spend the day after Thanksgiving with one particular sister (I think I will use Profgrrrl’s approach and number them by birth order, so this is S2). My mom always power shops for bargains, so starting when I was around ten years old, S2, who is fourteen years older than me, would take me out for the day. The first few years, we’d just go shopping. She’d take me to all the big malls that my mom wouldn’t typically bother with. Then when S2 became engaged, we’d go with her fiancé to see the Christmas displays and such. Then, when she had kids, we’d do something all together, then her husband would take the kids home and we’d go out shopping for the rest of the day. Sometimes another sister or our mom would join us for a while too. Now that my boyfriend is also there, it’s a different dynamic. It’s difficult to find something that all of us can enjoy, especially because S2 just really want s a break from mom duties, but boyfriend isn’t really much of a kid person so isn’t thrilled by hanging out with S2’s husband and kids all day. This year, S2’s family just moved into a new house so she’s super busy and overwhelmed. I offered to help unpack that day, which she seemed to like. We’ll probably spend the day at their new house, play some cards, order pizza, and maybe do some unpacking/organizing. A big break from our usual tradition, but fun nonetheless.

Addendum: Boyfriend (who will now be called ecogeoman) read this post and got upset that I wrote that he isn't a kid person. He really likes kids and in fact was looking forward to spending the day with S2's family. My bad.