I just spent 24 lovely hours with S2 (my sister) and her friends. She had a very stressful 2007, so her husband conspired with her friend to get her some R &R. I live in a more interesting city about 6 hours from where they live, so two of S2’s friends brought her here for the weekend. We spent Saturday downtown, shopping and walking around, and had afternoon tea in a fancy restaurant (nice, but sounds better than it was). Then this morning, I took her to get her hair cut by the same woman who cut mine last week. It was a fun and spontaneous thing to do and she looks great.
I miss living near my family so much. I’m sure that if I lived near them, I would spend tons of time hanging out with my sibs and their kids. When I’m bored here, I often think how great it would be to call up one of my sisters to just hang out with no plan. I feel like now if I call a friend, I have to invite them to do some specific activity, not just chill.
On the other hand, I don’t think my sibs could ever really substitute for friends. When I choose friends, I look for people with similar views so I can relax and be myself. In fact, I’m probably a little closed minded in some ways, e.g. I am not open to racist, homophobic, grossly materialistic, etc. people. I didn’t choose my family and I will love them unconditionally, so I steer clear of topics about which I suspect we disagree. I would stop nurturing a friendship with someone who has really different values, but I’m never going to drop a family member. In that sense, I feel like I keep big chunks of my personality out of my family’s view. But the unconditional love sure is nice.
6 comments:
I'm glad that you had fun with your sister. I, also, think that it's common to keep certain opinions you have to yourself with family members. I know that I do that at times And you're right, that unconditional love thing is pretty awesome.
I'm glad you had fun with your sister - and it sounds like she had a lot of fun too. I find myself in the same situation a lot - whenever I'm alone I think about how if I call someone else from here that I'll be inviting them to "do" something (usually that involves spending money and eating). It makes me miss my friends from home so much, because all we used to do was just show up at each other's apartments and... do nothing, but hang out. (and it was free!) I never really appreciated how hard it is to develop a friendship where you can do that until I didn't have it anymore.
I know what you mean about wanting friends with similar values. You know I'm looking for people with "jobs and stuff."
Sounds like a perfect weekend! My sister lives many thousands of miles away and I miss her more than anyone (or anything) else in the UK. I love my in-laws, who mostly live locally, but there's no substitute for your own family.
Having said that, one of my brother-in-laws (brothers-in-law?) introduced me to someone as his sister yesterday, which was really sweet.
Yay for family time - I totally here you about the closer to family thing...and the sister/friend thing.
I know exactly what you mean about wishing you had sisters nearby to just chill instead of "doing something." I miss my sisters a lot!
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