Working

Things have been going really well the past several days, but it feels like work is a series of ups and downs. I got some feedback on that interminable paper which, although constructive, really challenged me psychologically. I tackled the comments, but it was difficult and I felt like I was working in slow motion.

Then last week someone at my work organized a writing group for grad students. He suggested that we make a time line coupled with weekly work plans with tasks assigned to each day. We buddied up, and then created these work plans in Google docs, which we share with our buddy.

This system has been amazing so far. I have been getting so much done, even on the weekend when I typically only fake work. I know what I need to do each day, so I don't spend any time deciding what I feel like doing next. It also helps to have something to aim for each day. Perhaps most valuable, it gives me a way to gauge my progress, which I find extremely difficult with writing. The tasks are supposed to be broken down into chunks that should take no more than a couple of hours, although many of mine have been larger than that. Still, it has made what used to feel like an overwhelming volume of work seem manageable.

I have had good results in the past by making weekly plans, especially when I share them with a buddy for accountability. But this is the first time I have taken the effort to actually plan the work day-by-day, and I think it has made a difference. I haven't been doing it all that long, and I'm preparing for a conference next week which always ups my motivation, so we'll see if I keep up the momentum long-term. I might be blogging about this prematurely.

I thought you might like to see an example of what I mean, so here is my work plan for this week. Items in gray are complete. I'm not sure I can get through all the Chapter 2 writing I scheduled, but I figure it's good to aim a little high. I left some play in the schedule for Friday in case some of the writing spills over or if there are problems with poster printing.

Tasks to complete by July 31:

• Finish and print poster
• Finish Chapter 1 paper revisions
• Discuss revisions with RA
  
• Finish new cover letter for paper revisions
• Email revised paper and cover letter to coauthors
  
• Set up work space for new lab protocol
  
• Do trial protocol on practice samples if reagent arrives and I have permission from safety committee
• Draft Results and Discussion of Chapter 2 paper. Organize remaining tasks.
• Plan meeting session intro/moderation
  

July 27

• Set up work space for new lab protocol
  
• Finish paper revisions; list items to discuss with RA
  
• Email graphics people about poster printing
  

July 28

• Revise poster; email to coauthors
• Polish figures for Chapter 2 paper. Embed in paper.
• Draft Chapter 2 results
  

July 29

• Discuss revisions with RA. Get cover letter comments from RA.
• Draft bloogle section of Chapter 2 discussion
• Start trial samples for new protocol
  

July 30

• Complete Chapter 1 paper revisions
• Finish trial samples
• Polish poster
• Draft bloggle section of Chapter 2 discussion
• Draft bloogle vs. bloggle section of Chapter 2 discussion
  

July 31

• Print poster
• Email revised paper and cover letter to coauthors
• Wrap up trial
• Assess progress on and create plan for finishing Chapter 2 paper
• Make plan for week of Aug 10

Aug 1

• Shop, laundry, pack for meeting
• Complete personal schedule for meeting
• Script brief introduction for session I'm moderating
  

Aug 2

Travel to meeting

I finally cracked

This weekend I bought new athletic shoes, thicker socks, a sports bra, and AN IPOD.

iTunes is currently converting the songs that were on my computer into iSongs or whatever.

The iPod is green. LOVE.

I am now prepared for exercise. Lab work used to keep me moving. However, since I don't do lab work frequently or regularly (is that okay, Cath) anymore, I need to get my ass doing something else. Perhaps the iPod will motivate me. I'll let you know.

Proposition

Remember how I whined about a certain instrument a few months ago? My main complaint was that I use it so infrequently that I don't remember what to do, and each time I go to use the thing the protocol has changed slightly anyway. Well, I need to use it again for another project. Just three more encounters with this thing and I will be done. I'm so not interested in learning how to run this instrument for just these next three times, but I need the data. The culture of the lab dictates that I should run my own damn samples, but since I don't know how, it typically goes like this: I stand there while someone else does everything but explains each step as they go along and I pretend like I'm absorbing it all. I learn a little bit, but not enough to do it on my own the next time, so I always need help. This doesn't seem very efficient to me, as I see no point in using two people's time to do a one-person job.

So, I'm going to propose a trade. There is someone else who is really proficient with the instrument. It's not her job to run other people's samples, but because of some recent shifts in lab personnel, it would probably fall to her to help me. So I'm going to ask her to just run my samples for me and in return I will do something for her. I'll ask her to keep track of how long it takes with my samples, and then I will do something for her for an equal amount of time. Anything she wants, as long as I have the skills to do it. I would much rather spend a few hours doing something for someone else than waste my time watching someone do what should be my job. I think it will appeal to her too, since she'd probably spend almost as much time on my samples if I "do them myself" as if she does them for me, and she'll get a few hours of skilled bonus help. Win-win, right?

I'll let you know how it goes.

ETA: She agreed. I have to help with two partial days of field work. It's possible that I am overcompensating, but I have a feeling she's going to be doing a lot more than her share of lab service for a while, so I don't mind helping her out.

In which I make friends

I've complained here before about how I seem to have trouble making friends, especially independent of EGM, especially people who aren't from work, especially women. So I jumped at the chance to join a book club a few months ago, despite a somewhat awkward invitation.

I was at the birthday dinner for the female member of our only-friends-who-are-not-scientists couple along with another of her friends. We'll call this other friend Bookworm. I had met Bookworm several times before at other events hosted by this couple. Anyway, Bookworm invited my friend to join her new book club, but my friend declined because she doesn't like to read much. Awkward pause, then Bookworm said, well, um, would you like to come to my book club, Ecogeofemme? My natural inclination would have been to say no because it would be all people I didn't know and I felt like I was getting invited just because she felt rude leaving me out at that point. But, I'm always saying how I want more friends and I've been mildly interested in a book club for a long time. So I said yes.

That was right at the end of last year, so they skipped a couple of months around the holidays, and then I didn't make the next one. Then after all that time, I waffled about going. But I'm so glad I finally put on my big girl panties and went. The group is so great. They are a bunch of really intelligent, interesting women. They have different backgrounds from me, which is so cool. One is almost finished with a Ph.D. in English literature, so she always has great insights, but (thankfully) is never condescending. Several others have theater backgrounds, which adds a lot too. They seem to like my perspective as well. The discussions really add to my appreciation of the books because the others point out and explain allusions that I miss since I read way more science than literature.

Bookworm moved away a couple of months ago, and it was unclear if the group would continue without her leadership. So far, so good. I was a little worried personally, since I didn't know any of the other women before. But they seem to have accepted me as a regular member. I think it would take a long time for me to become actual friends with any of these people, but it's still really wonderful to have a standing engagement once a month where I feel like I belong. It has been a lot of fun so far.

Conferencing alone

Do you think it's better to attend a meeting on your own or with people from your lab? I see pros and cons to both situations.

Going with labmates can be great, particularly if they are good about introducing you to people they know. It's nice to have a guaranteed meal companion, someone to chat with during breaks, or to talk to when you get saturated and can't pretend to look at posters anymore. Beyond making a meeting experience less awkward, being with someone who knows people can certainly help you break into the conference cliques or get you introduced to potential collaborators. Tagging along with the Right Person can turn a so-so meeting into a career path-altering experience.

On the other hand, sometimes it's good to be on your own. Going with a colleague who does a poor job of introducing you to the people they know is infinitely frustrating and makes you think you'd be better off on your own. Moreover, when you're alone at a meeting you meet people because you have to. Because it's easier to stay in your comfort zone with labmates than it is to meet new people, labmates can inhibit networking. Being with friends can not only keep you from branching out, it can keep other people from approaching you if your group seems tight and intimidating.

The best case is when promoting your colleagues blends seamlessly with your own networking. It's poor form to ditch your labmates, but the point of conferences is to network and discuss science with the wider community. The balance depends on the personalities and experience of the players, of course, and I'm starting to think it takes some finesse to achieve.

Good Weekend

So far, this has been a pretty good weekend. On both Friday and Saturday, we slept in a little and had slow, relaxing starts to the the day. Then we went to EGM's office to work in the afternoons. Although we didn't work for more than 5-6 hours each day, I was really focused and actually got some stuff done. I always have this fantasy of a Good Weekend where I do both work and fun things. I imagine working really hard in the morning or afternoon, and then doing something fun in the evening and I feel great because I made the most of my day. But that almost never happens. Either I while away the day doing stupid shit while thinking I should do some work or chores or something, or I waste my time with fake work, or I get started too late so that I get in some good hours but finish at like, 9 pm and then just go home. This weekend, however, I actually made a Good Weekend happen.

On Friday I finished the first draft of the chapter I've been working on and sent it to my advisors and to Awesome Technician for review (probably only AT might read it before August). All I had left were to wrap up the discussion, abstract, and conclusions sections , which I thought would take no more than a couple of hours (they were all mostly written but not quite complete). Of course it took more like five. Still, I worked really hard and got it to a point where I felt comfortable asking for comments. What I want at this point (and what I asked for) is general comments about the organization, structure, and logic. Does it make sense? Did I miss anything big? I want feedback at that level before I spend a bunch of time polishing things that might just get deleted. But that seems to be really hard for people to do. Any advice for getting broad scale constructive criticism on early drafts?

On Saturday I started the data analysis for the next chapter! Progress! It feels great to move forward, but also scary because I intend to do some statistical analyses that are totally new to me. I need to be really careful to not stall due to fear, and to keep working even if I feel uncomfortable and not confident. My timeline and work plan don't have any room for any procrastination!

I said I did fun things too. Friday we watched some fireworks with a big group of friends and Saturday we went to a dinner party (with games!). Today I am taking the day mostly off to do some housework and to prepare for a trip -- I'm going to a short conference next week. If I finish my To Do list (which includes buying a book about said statistical techniques), then I'll go back to the data analysis. But if I don't get to it, I'm not going to feel guilty.

...who is the tensest of them all?

Lately I fell stressed. Even when I am doing something relaxing, I can feel an underlying tension that I don't think will go away until after I defend.

Some days, I get to my office all wound up and excited to get to work. But it's like anxiously waiting to start a race, hearing the gun, and then running in circles instead of following the course towards the finish.

Other days are much, much better. On those days, I get a lot accomplished, enjoy my work, and have a good time with my coworkers.

As I get down to the wire, the good days need to far outweigh the bad. I want to finish in the fall term, and I have a lot of work left to do. I guess there is a chance I could take another semester. That's unappealing -- I've already done that more than once and really, I think this thing will just expand to fill the time I give it.

So when I look in the mirror these days, I see someone bound and determined to finish her dissertation. I revisited the Dissertation Coach's advice the other day and made a timeline for the work I need to do, week by week. It's tight, but I think if I focus I can stay on schedule and finish without panicking towards the end. Every day needs to count; every day I need to arrive at work knowing specifically what I need to do. I see a person who will pull this off and not write a sloppy dissertation that was finished in a hurry*. My committee may have questions about my research, but it's not going to be because I wrote a crappy dissertation**.

*yes, I know no one else will read my dissertation, but each chapter will eventually get published as an independent paper, so I don't want it to suck.
**it will be because of the very limited replication in my experimental design.

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