We're still in my hometown enjoying the holiday with my family. On Thursday there were something like 30 people at my sister's house for dinner, which was fun. Yesterday, I went S1, S2, S4, and B2 to see our uncle who has been sick and living in a retirement/assisted living/nursing home for a little over a year. It was a great visit. Afterwards, we went out for pizza at my favorite place which is only found in this city. Then a long day of hanging out with a variety of family, with people coming and going from S2's new house until midnight. Ecogeoman got to see a movie with S2's husband, which is his favorite leisure activity. A great day. Today we don't really have any plans until my high school reunion this evening.
So it has been a good holiday and I haven't done any work or really thought about work too much. But it's there. That little twinge of guilt, the little nagging feeling is just at the very back of my thoughts. I guess I should feel good that it's not looming near the front as it is for ecogeoman, who has been studying his work stuff all morning. I am pretty good at turning it off most of the time. When I get home from work, I usually leave it behind and do home stuff at home. And it works the other way too, where all but the biggest life problems are forgotten when I'm at the lab. But I know that I have a TON of work to do before the big meeting in December at which I am giving my first big oral presentation. I feel guilty that more isn't done already, that I won't make my (self-imposed) goals for the year, etc. I would feel equally guilty if I tried to work on my presentation here, since that's not what I am supposed to be doing over Thanksgiving. I wish I didn't carry this guilt and I wonder if people with other professional jobs have it as well. Certainly it's not exclusive to scientists, but I wonder if it is as strong in early stages of other careers as it is for us. I also wonder what's going to happen when (if) I have more responsibility, like children or my own lab.
Well, that's a downer. For the rest of the day, I'm just going to be thankful that I'm here, my parents are healthy, my family is happy, and ecogeoman is with me. And that I have something interesting to say about myself and something cute to wear and a boyfriend with a cool accent to bring to that high school reunion.
3 comments:
You know, it's taken me nearly a decade of being in science to learn how to suppress that guilt. I think in many other professions, projects have specific endpoints and hard deadlines. In science, there is literally a neverending list of things to do, which makes us constantly feel guilty for not accomplishing more.
Good luck with everything! The only way for me to not be guilty about not working is to totally unplug. That's why I officially asked The Boss for vacation time for Thursday through Sunday...even though I stayed in LargeUtown! Sure I've checked my email, but even though I went to LargeU to go to the gym, I didn't set foot in my building--woohoo!! :)
Believe it or not, many non-scientists have this problem with work, too. One of my sisters is a business consultant. I don't really understand what she does; her field is as foreign to me as my prior field was to her. But she lugs her laptop around wherever she goes, and is forever checking her office voicemail. Even on holidays. Always on holidays.
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