Life has been sucking a little bit lately, mainly due to traffic. Long-time readers may recall that I have a nontrivial commute and that traffic in my city frequently blows. However, if I leave early enough, I can beat the worst of it and stay relatively sane.
Or at least I could.
They started major construction on one of the other highways in my city, which has had a serious impact on many of the other main arteries. Everything has been all jacked up such that I have to leave well before 7 am to beat the morning jam and if I don't leave work by 2:30 (unreasonably early), I'm stuck there until at least 6:30.
I don't mind working long days when I've got something going on or it's on my terms -- a deadline, fieldwork, a really compelling project -- but I don't like feeling like I'm trapped at the lab. This situation has increased my overall anxiety in part because it gives me less time at home for things I enjoy like blogging.
The good news is that we're going to move soon. It won't solve my commute problem but it should shorten my drive time significantly. And if it doesn't, I'm going to talk to my supervisor about some sort of flexible schedule, like four long days (thereby driving before the morning rush and after the evening rush and getting three-day weekends) or super early hours, or something. I brought it up today and he very generously offered to personally facilitate a commute by public transit, but unfortunately that's not a viable option and there's no way I would impact his schedule with my shitty commute.
I really need to figure out what sort of offering will please the traffic gods.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Worn out
The past couple of weeks have been what my BFF's mom would call "fast". When we were teenagers, she would say things like, "you've been pretty fast lately Young Lady, I think you better stay home tonight". Being a not-quite-extrovert, this always comes back to me when I get too busy.
Work has been busy, but I think it was too many social obligations that wore me out. I've had some lunches, a high school career fair, a few work dinners, normal social time with friends, and my sister visited last weekend with her husband and three kids. Too much! I really enjoyed most of these things but I was happy when more involved plans fell through last night so that Ecogeoman and I could go for a walk, order in Indian food, and watch a dvd. Today we slept in, had dim sum, went clothes shopping for him, and ate our leftover Indian food while watching another video.
Now I think I'm refreshed enough to plow through the week.
Work has been busy, but I think it was too many social obligations that wore me out. I've had some lunches, a high school career fair, a few work dinners, normal social time with friends, and my sister visited last weekend with her husband and three kids. Too much! I really enjoyed most of these things but I was happy when more involved plans fell through last night so that Ecogeoman and I could go for a walk, order in Indian food, and watch a dvd. Today we slept in, had dim sum, went clothes shopping for him, and ate our leftover Indian food while watching another video.
Now I think I'm refreshed enough to plow through the week.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Things I'm loving
Yesterday I discovered the Magic Eraser. OMG. It is teh awesome. I deep-cleaned the kitchen and was able to get scuffs and stuff off the walls that I could never clean before. The thing was amazing for places like the textured door handles on the fridge and oven, and pretty much everywhere else too. And it had no odor. Will definitely use again.
But I'm sure the thing you would much rather hear about is my ring. We've been talking about getting married for a few years now, but it has seemed like too big of a thing to tackle, too expensive, and not urgent enough for us to actually do it. Plus there has been some big event in our families each year that prevented us from hosting our own big event: EGM's sister got married two years ago, had a baby last year, and my parents are having their 50th anniversary this year which will get a big, wedding-like party. Anyway, we were talking about the logistics of EGM's defense date, like how to balance the time he really needs to finish with paying more university fees and immigration issues, and we decided the time was right for us to start planning a wedding.
I didn't care either way if I had an engagement ring. I would have been perfectly happy without one, but pleased to wear one too. EGM wanted me to have one (a rare moment of machismo). Because I didn't want a typical solitaire or similarly popular setting, I showed him some things I found online that I liked and didn't like. That had minimal impact, so we went out shopping without a definite plan for how things should go. It turned out that we both liked pretty similar styles but EGM claimed that what I liked specifically was not predictable and that he was sad that this jewelry was so gender-specific because he would like to wear it too. At that point we decided that we would get something we both really loved. Which was pretty much exclusively antique; there was almost nothing modern that we liked very much. So we went to a bajillion jewelry stores, narrowed it down to two rings, and after agonizing debate finally settled on this 1920s art deco solitaire:
You can see more detail if you zoom in. It's just right. Very sparkly, an interesting setting with engraving and filigree, and it's a good proportion for my small hand.
So: there was no down-on-one-knee proposal, no asking my father in advance, no surprising me with a velvet box, but this was just perfect for us. It suits our style of sharing responsibility, and we'll have a wonderful memory of shopping for this special item together, which with any luck will kick off a long and happy marriage. I couldn't be happier or more confident in my decision to marry EGM!
But I'm sure the thing you would much rather hear about is my ring. We've been talking about getting married for a few years now, but it has seemed like too big of a thing to tackle, too expensive, and not urgent enough for us to actually do it. Plus there has been some big event in our families each year that prevented us from hosting our own big event: EGM's sister got married two years ago, had a baby last year, and my parents are having their 50th anniversary this year which will get a big, wedding-like party. Anyway, we were talking about the logistics of EGM's defense date, like how to balance the time he really needs to finish with paying more university fees and immigration issues, and we decided the time was right for us to start planning a wedding.
I didn't care either way if I had an engagement ring. I would have been perfectly happy without one, but pleased to wear one too. EGM wanted me to have one (a rare moment of machismo). Because I didn't want a typical solitaire or similarly popular setting, I showed him some things I found online that I liked and didn't like. That had minimal impact, so we went out shopping without a definite plan for how things should go. It turned out that we both liked pretty similar styles but EGM claimed that what I liked specifically was not predictable and that he was sad that this jewelry was so gender-specific because he would like to wear it too. At that point we decided that we would get something we both really loved. Which was pretty much exclusively antique; there was almost nothing modern that we liked very much. So we went to a bajillion jewelry stores, narrowed it down to two rings, and after agonizing debate finally settled on this 1920s art deco solitaire:
You can see more detail if you zoom in. It's just right. Very sparkly, an interesting setting with engraving and filigree, and it's a good proportion for my small hand.
So: there was no down-on-one-knee proposal, no asking my father in advance, no surprising me with a velvet box, but this was just perfect for us. It suits our style of sharing responsibility, and we'll have a wonderful memory of shopping for this special item together, which with any luck will kick off a long and happy marriage. I couldn't be happier or more confident in my decision to marry EGM!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Preview
I don't know why I haven't been blogging lately. I'm going to list a few potential topics to maybe help me get back in the swing of things.
- EGM and I decided to get married, and together we picked out the most awesomely awesome engagement ring.
- I think I have finally experienced sexism at work first-hand. I'm going to keep an eye on things before I decide if the situation represented something systematic or if it was merely coincidental.
- It has been a very nice spring, and I am just itching to get my garden started.
- Crafting emails that convey the tone I intend is apparently difficult for me.
- After being adamant that I'm not going to attend my commencement ceremony, I'm starting to think it might be a nice thing to do.
Monday, March 1, 2010
On waiting
How much time should a coauthor be allowed for reviewing a manuscript before it is submitted? How long is too long? At what point do you feel it is appropriate to start complaining? Or making ultimatums?
What if that coauthor is your advisor?
What if that coauthor is your student?
Personally, I think things are going pretty well if all coauthors respond to a request for feedback within a month. Gentle reminders are appropriate beginning about three weeks after the coauthors receive the manuscript, and can increase in frequency and sternness of tone after that. I think three months is too long, unless there are extenuating circumstances, and is the point at which serious complaining may start. I can't imagine making an ultimatum to an advisor or coauthor who made a major contribution, but I can imagine engaging in hard-core whining.
Am I off base?
In other news, we successfully added a second computer to our wireless network with absolutely no drama. The new router is teh awesome.
What if that coauthor is your advisor?
What if that coauthor is your student?
Personally, I think things are going pretty well if all coauthors respond to a request for feedback within a month. Gentle reminders are appropriate beginning about three weeks after the coauthors receive the manuscript, and can increase in frequency and sternness of tone after that. I think three months is too long, unless there are extenuating circumstances, and is the point at which serious complaining may start. I can't imagine making an ultimatum to an advisor or coauthor who made a major contribution, but I can imagine engaging in hard-core whining.
Am I off base?
In other news, we successfully added a second computer to our wireless network with absolutely no drama. The new router is teh awesome.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Research continuity
I've written before that my research is interdisciplinary, and alluded to the fact that my postdoc is taking that to a whole new level. My PhD work crossed two main subjects: A and B. My postdoc research is still about A and B, but also includes C (which I knew a little about from my work in A), D, E, and possibly a little bit of Z. These letters stand for disciplines that could have their own department at any typical American university. Z is radically different from the rest.
Learning all this new stuff is exciting and overwhelming. Fortunately, I still get to work with my PhD research adviser on the A and B, so there is something familiar among all the new stuff. In fact, a big part of my job is to help develop this new highly interdisciplinary research by building the relationships between the A+B people, the C+D people, the E people, and maybe even the Z people. So far it's cool, but much more complex than anything I've done before. The science is complex, obviously, but the interpersonal/management aspects are also tricky.
I'm glad there are at least a few familiar personalities in the mix to ease the transition into this new research. I'm finding that I'm more excited to go to work than I have been in a very long time, and that the days just fly by. But I'm also so tired by the end of the week, even when it feels like I hardly did anything. It takes a lot of effort to learn (which is probably why kids need so much sleep!), so it's good that my whole world didn't change all at once. I'm still with EGM of course, we didn't have to move for this postdoc, I still get to interact with Research Adviser, and I still get to work on my PhD topic, albeit in a very expanded way. It's comforting to have some measure of continuity as I embark on new research territory.
scientiae-carnival
Learning all this new stuff is exciting and overwhelming. Fortunately, I still get to work with my PhD research adviser on the A and B, so there is something familiar among all the new stuff. In fact, a big part of my job is to help develop this new highly interdisciplinary research by building the relationships between the A+B people, the C+D people, the E people, and maybe even the Z people. So far it's cool, but much more complex than anything I've done before. The science is complex, obviously, but the interpersonal/management aspects are also tricky.
I'm glad there are at least a few familiar personalities in the mix to ease the transition into this new research. I'm finding that I'm more excited to go to work than I have been in a very long time, and that the days just fly by. But I'm also so tired by the end of the week, even when it feels like I hardly did anything. It takes a lot of effort to learn (which is probably why kids need so much sleep!), so it's good that my whole world didn't change all at once. I'm still with EGM of course, we didn't have to move for this postdoc, I still get to interact with Research Adviser, and I still get to work on my PhD topic, albeit in a very expanded way. It's comforting to have some measure of continuity as I embark on new research territory.
scientiae-carnival
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
ScienceGirl's Baby Shower!
ScienceGirl may not have a great big network in her new town to help her raise her new baby, but she sure does have a lot of love on the internets. I want to thank everyone for contributing to our virtual baby shower for ScienceGirl, and making this a group of posts that she will be able to reread in the future. Hopefully these posts will help her remember that even though we aren't there in person, she has many people all over the world who have her back. We all seem to share a deep confidence that ScienceGirl will make a wonderful mother, and to want to remind her to trust her instincts while taking care of herself too.
Without further ado, let's get this party started!
ScientistMother says that a happy mommy leads to a happy baby, so remember to take care of yourself! Chall adds that you shouldn't stress about being perfect, and recommends some clothing choices for when the baby is small. A couple of guests elaborated on the futility of striving for perfection by noting that early problems don't always persist. Beaker Half Full shared a story about the challenge of leaving her baby brother at daycare to illustrate that even things that seem heartbreaking probably aren't as bad as you think, and Short Geologist reminded us all that a perceived weakness in childhood don't always last into adulthood. Very reassuring!
A baby shower staple is recommendations for good books. You undoubtedly already have plenty to read, but let us suggest some favorites. Amelie offered a list of her childhood favorites, encompassing a wide range of delightful stories that will be appropriate for your daughter as she grows up. Karina recommended Free Range Kids, which she says is about raising "independent, confident kids". I described a book that may help with showing love in your family when things get challenging.
Several seasoned moms offered some advice straight from the trenches. LabMom says to trust yourself, don't fall into the martyr trap, accept help, be proud of your identity as a parent, and don't feel guilty to admit that some parts of the job suck. BeanMom also offers some extremely practical advice, from poop to sleep to support groups to remember to enjoy it while it lasts (or be patient until it's over, if it's something suckful). Rebecca too reminded you to remember that "this too shall pass" and to not be too hard on yourself. In fact, the fleeting nature of child development seems to be an emergent theme at this party. We're having a lengthy conversation at this shower about how you have to remind yourself that the colic and poop won't last and you have to savor the joys when they come. Jennie wants to be sure that you try to remain grateful for it all, and Mad Hatter thinks that won't be too hard if a baby is anything like a dog (as she suspects), since the things that suck (like waking up to the sound of vomit in the night) will pale in comparison to the joy your baby will bring.
A baby shower wouldn't be complete without some fun and games, and Fia and Cath came through with some laughs. Fia suggested some hilarious-looking parenting aids, and Cath shared a great joke about the work load of a mother - funny, of course, because it can be all too true! Makita reminded us that kids have their own personalities from day 1, and made us laugh too with a story about how her kid could spill the soup before he was even born! Banshee wanted to play a game, and so gave you some advice to draw from a hat when you need it. I propose we play another little game--it's probably too late to start a pool on the baby's birth date, but we could guess her birth weight. Party guests, please leave a comment with your guess, and hopefully ScienceGirl won't mind telling us who is closest. I suggest we play for bragging rights rather than a potted plant. :)
Lin and Amanda spoke for all of us, I think, when they expressed their confidence in your ability, ScienceGirl. Your training in grad school, your discipline in running, and your consistently balanced and positive outlook will no doubt be assets on your journey through motherhood!
So please, everyone, eat a cupcake in honor of ScienceGirl, her husband, and her very-soon-to-arrive baby. On behalf of everyone, I'd like to say congratulations and best wishes in your new life with baby!
If I missed any posts, it was most certainly not intentional, so please let me know and I will correct my mistake!
Without further ado, let's get this party started!
ScientistMother says that a happy mommy leads to a happy baby, so remember to take care of yourself! Chall adds that you shouldn't stress about being perfect, and recommends some clothing choices for when the baby is small. A couple of guests elaborated on the futility of striving for perfection by noting that early problems don't always persist. Beaker Half Full shared a story about the challenge of leaving her baby brother at daycare to illustrate that even things that seem heartbreaking probably aren't as bad as you think, and Short Geologist reminded us all that a perceived weakness in childhood don't always last into adulthood. Very reassuring!
A baby shower staple is recommendations for good books. You undoubtedly already have plenty to read, but let us suggest some favorites. Amelie offered a list of her childhood favorites, encompassing a wide range of delightful stories that will be appropriate for your daughter as she grows up. Karina recommended Free Range Kids, which she says is about raising "independent, confident kids". I described a book that may help with showing love in your family when things get challenging.
Several seasoned moms offered some advice straight from the trenches. LabMom says to trust yourself, don't fall into the martyr trap, accept help, be proud of your identity as a parent, and don't feel guilty to admit that some parts of the job suck. BeanMom also offers some extremely practical advice, from poop to sleep to support groups to remember to enjoy it while it lasts (or be patient until it's over, if it's something suckful). Rebecca too reminded you to remember that "this too shall pass" and to not be too hard on yourself. In fact, the fleeting nature of child development seems to be an emergent theme at this party. We're having a lengthy conversation at this shower about how you have to remind yourself that the colic and poop won't last and you have to savor the joys when they come. Jennie wants to be sure that you try to remain grateful for it all, and Mad Hatter thinks that won't be too hard if a baby is anything like a dog (as she suspects), since the things that suck (like waking up to the sound of vomit in the night) will pale in comparison to the joy your baby will bring.
A baby shower wouldn't be complete without some fun and games, and Fia and Cath came through with some laughs. Fia suggested some hilarious-looking parenting aids, and Cath shared a great joke about the work load of a mother - funny, of course, because it can be all too true! Makita reminded us that kids have their own personalities from day 1, and made us laugh too with a story about how her kid could spill the soup before he was even born! Banshee wanted to play a game, and so gave you some advice to draw from a hat when you need it. I propose we play another little game--it's probably too late to start a pool on the baby's birth date, but we could guess her birth weight. Party guests, please leave a comment with your guess, and hopefully ScienceGirl won't mind telling us who is closest. I suggest we play for bragging rights rather than a potted plant. :)
Lin and Amanda spoke for all of us, I think, when they expressed their confidence in your ability, ScienceGirl. Your training in grad school, your discipline in running, and your consistently balanced and positive outlook will no doubt be assets on your journey through motherhood!
So please, everyone, eat a cupcake in honor of ScienceGirl, her husband, and her very-soon-to-arrive baby. On behalf of everyone, I'd like to say congratulations and best wishes in your new life with baby!
If I missed any posts, it was most certainly not intentional, so please let me know and I will correct my mistake!
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