When someone tells me about a new person, like a new coworker or a friend they want to introduce me to, usually I ask "is she cool?" Now, I know that this may not be the most important quality in a person, but it is usually what I want to know first. I should probably ask "is she competent?" about a new coworker or "is she nice/trustworthy/honest?" about a new friend.
Even worse that "is she cool?" is "is she hot?" It really ticks me off how so many men in my life ask "is she hot?" about a new person. Even Ecogeoman does it sometimes! I'll describe how a potential grad student visited the lab and he'll ask, is she hot? It's doesn't f'ing matter! Why do men do this?
When asked about someone's irrelevant hotness, I, of course, rant on about how this is a rude and sexist thing to ask and that it doesn't matter anyway, but it never gets me anywhere. I know that Ecogeoman doesn't really treat people differently based on their looks (at least consciously), and I know that he asks that just to get me worked up, but I HATE it.
This topic is on my mind because the very worst abuser of "is she hot" is visiting us this week, a friend who always mentions a person's looks when saying anything about him/her (to be fair, I think it's mostly joking, but still). We went out last night and bickered the whole time about "is she hot". I admit that hotness counts for some things, and that hot people probably are treated better in general, but it just shouldn't be the first thing we want to know about a person.
7 comments:
Yes, this bothers me as well because it always seems to be is SHE hot not is HE hot and it seems to follow a statement that is positive such as the new dean of our college is a women, the first time in 10 years. . .. is she hot?
This seems to be along the same lines as poor Hilary Clinton, what's her hair like? what is she wearing? calling her Hilary instead of Clinton, ect.
It's good that you always call people on how wrong this is.
Ever tried inconspicuously throwing in an "Is he hot?" It can certainly backfire, but in some cases it can be a non-confrontational eye-opener.
After asking about publication record, I always ask if (s)he's hot. It's always fun to have good-looking people around...;-)
Next time it happens, you could always respond with "Oh yeah, she's way too hot for you!" :-)
mad hatter, that's probably just about the best response.
sciencegirl, they LOVE it when I ask, even if it's just to make a point. They ignore my real message and take it at face value, just as I would do if they used the same tactic.
jennie, they usually ask about men too (but not as much as women). At least they don't completely discriminate!
hypo, you're a hoot. :)
yeah, this bugs me too.
Well, when my old department (100% female) hired its first 2 guys last year, there were lots of "is he the hot one we saw you interviewing?" type questions...
Post a Comment