I am irresponsible today.

I had a great day yesterday. I completed a review (hate those!), organized my office, and read through the review comments on my manuscript again. I listed everything I need to do, grouped by task (changes to data, information I need to find in the literature, text edits) to break it into manageable chunks that I can assign to daily to do lists. Unfortunately, today didn't go so well.

I spent much of the day chasing information for one review comment that I thought would be simple to address. Not so much. I think it will end up being something that we'll deal with in the rebuttal but without much alteration of the manuscript text, but of course I'll have to consult with Research Advisor, who is away. I couldn't keep myself on task, so even though I didn't carpool today and I could have worked late, I left at normal time and went shopping.

I also spent part of the day buying a plane ticket to Florida! My BFF invited me to spend a long weekend at her uncle's house where we can stay for free. I hesitated. But then I remembered all the times she's asked me to do fun stuff and I said no and then last year when I said yes. Last summer we went to Florida for a week with her parents and it was just great. So I'll be taking two days off in May. But that's what life is meant to be about -- spending time with friends and enjoying some time off after hard work. Two days isn't a big deal. Even after a day off this month for visiting my fam at Easter. Whatevs.

I went shopping because getting the plane ticket made me want new things for the trip (and other stuff). So I spent $88 at TJMaxx on an umbrella, new sandlish shoes, sunglasses, a sunhat, workout pants, athletic socks, and good smelling spray stuff for our sheets. I feel bad about the consumerism. But I WANTED.

The toughest part of grad school

I'm late to the party, but I want to write on Candid Engineer's Scientiae topic, overcoming challenges. So far, the most challenging thing I've had to do in grad school is assemble and meet with my committee. I think that sounds pretty lame since it's an integral part of doing a PhD, but the process of building my committee hit an irrational nerve (subject for another post) that had me nervous for weeks.

I know part of a professor's job is to serve on thesis committees. Some of them even like doing it. But everybody always seems so busy all the time, and I really hate the guilty feeling that comes with the notion of wasting someone's time. I think really the problem stemmed from the fact that there weren't many faculty for me to choose from. Thus I had to ask people whose interests don't overlap much with mine, which means I have a committee partially populated* by people who don't really get what I do, don't have a whole lot to offer, won't get a whole lot from me, and don't know me all that well. It makes me dread my meetings with them, and it makes the meetings a lot less pleasant than they should be because it takes so much effort to get anything done.

I have learned from this though. There have been several subsequent occasions where I've had to ask people to help me with something in a way not completely different from my thesis committee. I'm happy to report that I was much more confident, the interactions went better, and I actually enjoyed the experience of having a reason to talk science with some different people. So I may not have overcome the challenge directly with my committee, but I did overcome my fear and inhibition. I'd say I even learned a skill, and now I'm much more comfortable dealing with the interpersonal parts of doing science. I'm still trying to find a way to get out of my next committee meeting, but I'm excited by some new relationships that have recently developed. Yet another reason I can't wait to graduate!

*Of course, I do have my two advisors who are both great. Plus an outside committee member who is great but also very far away and s/he doesn't know me all that well.

scientiae-carnival

Now I have my own reviewer anecdote

My paper was rejected. I'm invited to resubmit, but I'm not sure if I can adequately address the criticisms. I'll need to think it over and talk to the Advisors.

It's one of those situations people complain about where the reviewers had polar opposite opinions. The first said everybody knows this and the second said this is really important new and exciting information. Unfortunately, the subject editor appears to agree with Reviewer #1. Reviewer #2 also made extensive, constructive comments. Some of them are a little unexpected, but most of them are not. They are all polite and I think they will be very useful.

I'm bummed that it wasn't accepted, of course, but I don't feel outraged by the reviews. The paper will certainly be improved by the reviewer's comments and I will try to deal with them all. I'm not sure if I'll be able to address them well enough for this journal, though. But if not, there are other good journals I can try, and in fact we debated about starting with this one so I'm sure it will all end up fine. I will put it all aside until Monday and then see what I think.

Internets, what's your opinion?

Do you think a reference list counts toward the page limit of a document? Assume the guidelines don't specify anything other than the page limit ("N-page proposal" and that's all).

What happened to Adoptic?

I suddenly realized the blog-advertising website Adoptic disappeared. Did they announce they were closing down, or did they just fade away? When did it happen, and how come I didn't notice?

And now I'm 30

I just had a lovely time celebrating a big birthday. Last weekend Ecogeomom, S1, S2, and S4, and S4's little baby came to visit. There were only here for about 24 hours but we had a lot of fun. We don't make a big deal about adult birthdays in my family unless they end in zero, so their visit made my 30th really special. Ecogeoman, who typically f's up my birthday, had a thoughtful present (wrapped even!), a book to organize all the loose recipes I have floating around the kitchen, ready in advance and he took me out to dinner on my actual birthday. Awesome Technician made brownies, which she knows are the signature birthday dessert in my family instead of the much-less-delicious birthday cake.

I have many friends who look at 30 as some major milestone. They say it marks the time when one should be married, have a house, finished a Ph.D., whatever. Or it defines adulthood. I have never looked at 30 this way, probably because there are other ways I think those life events should be defined. For example, I considered myself a full adult when I graduated from college because that was the time when my parents stopped contributing to my livelihood; I had to get a job, fund my own life, pay my own debts, and thus they ceased to have a say in my decisions other than offering advice that I could either take or leave. I don't feel like an old maid because I'm not married yet; EGM and I will do that when the time is right for both of us and our families. I don't feel like a failure for not owning a house; I'm quite comfortable renting for the time being given both our personal circumstances and the shitty market.

On the other hand, I feel a little disappointed with myself for still being in grad school. I remember swearing up and down that I would be finished before I was 30. This had less to do with a particular age and more to do with thinking it was ridiculous for grad school to drag on and on. Yet here I am, approaching year 7. To be fair, I've been held up by some things out of my control, like an "act of god" that drove me to shift the focus of my project and probably cost me a year, or the slow manuscript reviewing that held my attention on one aspect of my project for too long. But really, I want to get on with my life. I'm tired of knowing there are still hoops to jump. I want a real salary. And a 401(k). And the peace of mind that comes from knowing that if the shit hit the fan, I could quit without losing everything I've worked toward for the last dozen years.

So 30 is fine. But I really want to graduate.

Egg pie

I love Sciencemama's idea for a weekday recipe carnival. I don't mind cooking, but it can be so hard to come up with what to make, especially through the week. I like to make meals that are very simple (i.e. complete enough in one dish that I don't need sides), inexpensive, and take <30 min.

I whipped this up last week when I had a frozen pie crust, eggs, cheese, and not much else. It's not my best work ever, but it was pretty good. One of Sciencemama's requirements is high nutrition; I'm not sure this qualifies, but it's not bacon and tator tots either. Since I don't know what defines a quiche, I'm calling this dill and asparagus egg pie. Please don't judge me for using asparagus when it's terribly out of season.

Ingredients: splash of olive oil, 2 gloves minced garlic, 1 bunch asparagus (~ 2 c after trimming?), dash of salt, 8 eggs, 0.25 c grated Parmesan, 0.5 c mozzarella, 1 T (or more) dry dill weed, 1 pie crust (I buy it prepared but you can make you own).

1. Preheat oven to 350F or so.
2. Trim asparagus and cut into ~0.5 in pieces. Saute with garlic and salt in the olive oil until not quite tender.
3. Whisk eggs, cheeses, dill, and half-cooked asparagus in a medium bowl.
4. Position the pie crust in a pie pan. Pour in the egg mixture.
5. Bake for 30-45 min, until the crust is golden and the center is set and a little puffy.