Yesterday I said how my work is all log-jammed by an overdue review. I feel bad that I haven't finished it, yet I can't get myself to get it done. I think the reason is that I feel unsure about my comments. Although I'm still green enough to feel sort of honored to be a reviewer, I hate doing it because I'm not sure if I know what I'm doing. Chuck recently wrote a nice post (with some good advice) about how learning to peer review is a major gap in grad student training. I agree.
This is not my first review. Occasionally, Research Advisor will get asked to review a paper that looks straightforward but she doesn't have time to read. If she thinks I can handle the content, she'll suggest me as a reviewer, letting the editor know that I am her student and that she will assist me if needed. So I read the paper and write the review, asking her questions as necessary. I also rely on her vast experience to help me determine how serious any errors are. I know that grad students are notoriously harsh reviewers and I have to admit I don't always have the judgment to decide if the fact that the authors used technique x instead of y is enough to kill the paper*.
This system works, I guess. It gives me an opportunity to cut my teeth on reviewing, a job I'm going to have to learn sooner or later. It's great to have a safety net. I think I'd be paralyzed with nerves if I had to submit the review without confirmation that it was sensible.
On the other hand, I would have really liked a little more training for this. If feels weird to me to write reviews when I have not received any for my own work. Sure, I've seen the reviews from a few of my colleagues' papers, but that's different from reading comments on your own work, which you know much more intimately (I hadn't even read the versions of my colleagues' manuscripts that were reviewed). I think the best scenario would be -- with the editor's blessing -- for RA and I both to review the same paper, with her having responsibility for it. We'd both write comments, discuss them, and then she would submit the review but I would get to read what she wrote. Perhaps we could do it that way a couple of times and then switch roles so that I would submit the final comments. After that, I could do my own reviews with the opportunity to check things with her as needed. I know that creates a lot more work**, but this is such an important part of the way we do science that I think it's worth it to take the time to properly train new students how to do it.
*I know the editor makes the final decision and all, but reviewers are still asked to give an overall judgment of the paper.
** I haven't asked her to do it this way because usually if she passes a review to me, she's totally swamped and I feel bad asking for her time. Plus, by the time it occurred to me to do it this way, I had done enough that I think she probably thinks I'm doing just fine.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Dry spell
Man, I got nothing tonight. It goes along with nothing all day. I've had lots of post ideas floating around, but then when it's time to write them I can't think of anything. It fits with a general pattern of low productivity lately. I've had lots of odds and ends sorts of tasks to do. This kind of work can sometimes make me feel hyper productive because I'm constantly crossing items off the list, but lately it seem like these tasks are taking longer than they should, I'm flitting from one thing to the next, and I'm not getting any of them all the way to completion. It feels like one key thing that is semi-out of my control is missing from each little project.
Then there's the real roadblock: an overdue review. I'm having a serious flare of impostor syndrome that is making this thing take a million years to finish. I got some (editor-approved) guidance from Research Advisor today, so maybe I'll be able to wrap it up soon. I might write more about this topic, but I dunno. Feels a little inappropriate for this blog somehow. More impostor syndrome, perhaps?
Then there's the real roadblock: an overdue review. I'm having a serious flare of impostor syndrome that is making this thing take a million years to finish. I got some (editor-approved) guidance from Research Advisor today, so maybe I'll be able to wrap it up soon. I might write more about this topic, but I dunno. Feels a little inappropriate for this blog somehow. More impostor syndrome, perhaps?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Numbers are hard
I am a visual person. I understand most concepts by picturing them somehow. Sometimes the image is very literal and sometimes it's a more symbolic representation of a concept. My brain has has not, however, learned how to visualize numbers in a conceptual way. It makes life as a scientist difficult at times.
When I think of a number, I picture it -- written on a page, as a puffy helium balloon, as a tick label on a graph axis. Some of the numbers that have similar shapes, like 3, 6, and 8 get kind of muddled up. Same with 1, 7, and 9. I have heard some people say that they assign colors or genders to numbers and that helps keep them sorted. I can kind of relate to this because my brain loads some words with an unrelated sound in a way that's difficult to explain, but helps me process and remember words. I think this might be a very mild form of the intriguing phenomenon synesthesia, which is "a neurologically based phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway." I think I first heard about synestheisa when FSP described her perception of letters in color, which sounds just amazing.
Unfortunately, I confront numbers in my work every single day. Tables can be challenging. I frequently mentally convert entries in a table to bar graphs in order to compare values. It can be a little embarrassing because I seldom remember important numbers from my own research. Someone will ask, "how fast did x process occur?" and I will have to picture one of my figures with enough resolution to see the axis. I usually have to check my notes before I can give a reliable answer. Only the simplest values or the ones that I read/write the most often get stored long-term, but they are usually saved by rote memorization and lose their meaning.
Interestingly, I really like math. I like that nature can be described with numbers and mathematical concepts. My difficulty remembering numbers is not part of a larger problem with math or learning. Just memorizing. When I was little, I had a really hard time mastering my times tables and so everyone thought I'd be lousy at math, but once I got to algebra I rocked out.
It's funny how you can learn to deal with your weaknesses. I think it's also important to remember that just because someone has a specific weakness does not mean they can't handle a larger challenge. And that something that seems really important at one stage, like learning multiplication tables, quickly becomes small potatoes. I think I'll try to remember that as I struggle with writing my dissertation.
When I think of a number, I picture it -- written on a page, as a puffy helium balloon, as a tick label on a graph axis. Some of the numbers that have similar shapes, like 3, 6, and 8 get kind of muddled up. Same with 1, 7, and 9. I have heard some people say that they assign colors or genders to numbers and that helps keep them sorted. I can kind of relate to this because my brain loads some words with an unrelated sound in a way that's difficult to explain, but helps me process and remember words. I think this might be a very mild form of the intriguing phenomenon synesthesia, which is "a neurologically based phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway." I think I first heard about synestheisa when FSP described her perception of letters in color, which sounds just amazing.
Unfortunately, I confront numbers in my work every single day. Tables can be challenging. I frequently mentally convert entries in a table to bar graphs in order to compare values. It can be a little embarrassing because I seldom remember important numbers from my own research. Someone will ask, "how fast did x process occur?" and I will have to picture one of my figures with enough resolution to see the axis. I usually have to check my notes before I can give a reliable answer. Only the simplest values or the ones that I read/write the most often get stored long-term, but they are usually saved by rote memorization and lose their meaning.
Interestingly, I really like math. I like that nature can be described with numbers and mathematical concepts. My difficulty remembering numbers is not part of a larger problem with math or learning. Just memorizing. When I was little, I had a really hard time mastering my times tables and so everyone thought I'd be lousy at math, but once I got to algebra I rocked out.
It's funny how you can learn to deal with your weaknesses. I think it's also important to remember that just because someone has a specific weakness does not mean they can't handle a larger challenge. And that something that seems really important at one stage, like learning multiplication tables, quickly becomes small potatoes. I think I'll try to remember that as I struggle with writing my dissertation.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Quick update
I haven't posted in ages and I'm way behind in my blog reading. We have a house guest for several weeks, which is keeping me away from my computer in the evenings. It's a very fun guest to have because the person is excellent company and a perfect match for me science-wise, so we're having lots of great science discussions. Also, I mentioned in the comments that I had to travel for a funeral. It was a sad affair for an uncle who wasn't that old (71) but had been sick with cancer for several years. He lived a high-quality life much longer than initially expected, but the final decline was very quick. I'm glad I got the chance to say goodbye and it was good to see my family (the kids grow so much between each visit!).
I'll try to get back to regular posting, but I'm sure it will continue to be intermittent as long as our guest is here. I will especially try to get on the interviews I promised to several bloggers. Sorry about the delay!
I'll try to get back to regular posting, but I'm sure it will continue to be intermittent as long as our guest is here. I will especially try to get on the interviews I promised to several bloggers. Sorry about the delay!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Bean-Mom interviewed me! Here are her questions and my responses.
1. If you weren't in science, what do you think you'd be doing?
It's difficult to picture myself doing something totally outside of science. However, it's possible to imagine a fulfilling career doing something besides research. For example, I could see myself working for a consulting firm or regulatory agency. In the last couple of years I've thought about having a business that provides professional development training for scientists. I envision such a business being something like the dissertation coach's job, but I'd expand beyond dissertations to time management, career strategy, and all the other things we regularly talk about on our blogs. I'm not sure what kind of training or qualifications I'd need to pull that off.
I have a list of dream jobs, but most of them are not things I think I would/could actually pursue. Maybe financial advisor.
2. What's your dream job?
Professional dancer. I imagine it every day. After that, it's voice over actor, professional development coach for scientists, and financial advisor.
3. Okay, you've just defended your thesis and as a reward your fairy science godmother is going to give you an all expenses paid month vacation to do whatever you wish. Trekking in the Himalayas, chilling on a beach, exploring Europe with ecogeoman.... whatever. Also, you can bring along whomever you want (fairy godmother will pay for them too). What would you do and who would you bring?
That's easy. I'd go to Far Off Land with EGM and whoever else wanted to come along for part of the time. In fact, we're trying to find a way to take an extended visit there in the next year. I have a major fantasy wherein we graduate, secure post docs, give up our apartment since we'd be moving for post docs anyway, and then spend 2-3 months in Far Off Land. In my fantasy we spend part of our time working on papers lingering from our dissertations and part of our time exploring the country. I'd like to get to know the place a little better and spend more time with his family and friends. I've been trying to save so we can do at least a short trip there, although it's the kind of place where you go for at least 2-3 weeks since the trip takes so much time and money.
4. Name a book that has affected you deeply.
This is tough. The Jungle really stuck with me, especially after I later read Fast Food Nation and discovered all the same hardships and injustices are still at play. For reasons unknown, I'm fascinated by stories set in the Gilded Age, especially those that focus on working class people.
5. What do you think of the city where you are now living? (I ask this because I am familiar with the place, and just curious as to what you think of it!)
I love it here! It's such an exciting place to live. A post doc in our lab once said it feels like the lid is just barely kept on this city -- that it's on the verge of chaos at any moment, but in a mostly good way. I think part of that comes from the diversity -- I can see women in burqas in the grocery store, same-sex couples walking down the street holding hands, a whole spectrum of skin colors in classes at my university -- which means there is lots of different stuff going on all the time.
Because of that (and because of the huge market here), you can find almost any activity or food you can imagine. Best of all, lots of it is in walking distance. I live smack in the middle of the kind of super livable neighborhood that Ruchi recently described. I love that there is good public transit (although I hate actually taking it). I feel like the city is very accessible -- easy to get around, hard to get lost in -- and that it was easy to find ourselves a little nest within it.
However, I've been thinking about this question a lot lately as I start to investigate potential post doc opportunities. There are so many things I love here, but the city has major drawbacks as well and those are starting to grate on me. The winter weather blows. A little topography would be nice. It's really expensive, so I feel like a lot of the cool stuff to do is out of reach. And although I said it was easy to find a little space for us, it has been difficult to make friends here. People from the university are so spread out that it's impractical to hang out with some of the students I'd like to build relationships with. It's easy to get lost in the crowd. But mostly, I'm really sick of my commute. Furthermore, I feel like it takes forever to get anywhere. And it's so damn hard to get out of the city to natural areas. Once you do, they are crowded with everyone else from the city. It'd be really cool to live someplace where a nice hike would be a day trip instead of a long weekend with reservations required three months in advance. Thus, I'm torn about whether I'd like to stay here longer or move on for the next stage of my career. Not that I think I'll have much control over it.
Thanks to Bean-Mom for the interesting questions! Readers, if would like me to interview you, let me know in the comments.
1. If you weren't in science, what do you think you'd be doing?
It's difficult to picture myself doing something totally outside of science. However, it's possible to imagine a fulfilling career doing something besides research. For example, I could see myself working for a consulting firm or regulatory agency. In the last couple of years I've thought about having a business that provides professional development training for scientists. I envision such a business being something like the dissertation coach's job, but I'd expand beyond dissertations to time management, career strategy, and all the other things we regularly talk about on our blogs. I'm not sure what kind of training or qualifications I'd need to pull that off.
I have a list of dream jobs, but most of them are not things I think I would/could actually pursue. Maybe financial advisor.
2. What's your dream job?
Professional dancer. I imagine it every day. After that, it's voice over actor, professional development coach for scientists, and financial advisor.
3. Okay, you've just defended your thesis and as a reward your fairy science godmother is going to give you an all expenses paid month vacation to do whatever you wish. Trekking in the Himalayas, chilling on a beach, exploring Europe with ecogeoman.... whatever. Also, you can bring along whomever you want (fairy godmother will pay for them too). What would you do and who would you bring?
That's easy. I'd go to Far Off Land with EGM and whoever else wanted to come along for part of the time. In fact, we're trying to find a way to take an extended visit there in the next year. I have a major fantasy wherein we graduate, secure post docs, give up our apartment since we'd be moving for post docs anyway, and then spend 2-3 months in Far Off Land. In my fantasy we spend part of our time working on papers lingering from our dissertations and part of our time exploring the country. I'd like to get to know the place a little better and spend more time with his family and friends. I've been trying to save so we can do at least a short trip there, although it's the kind of place where you go for at least 2-3 weeks since the trip takes so much time and money.
4. Name a book that has affected you deeply.
This is tough. The Jungle really stuck with me, especially after I later read Fast Food Nation and discovered all the same hardships and injustices are still at play. For reasons unknown, I'm fascinated by stories set in the Gilded Age, especially those that focus on working class people.
5. What do you think of the city where you are now living? (I ask this because I am familiar with the place, and just curious as to what you think of it!)
I love it here! It's such an exciting place to live. A post doc in our lab once said it feels like the lid is just barely kept on this city -- that it's on the verge of chaos at any moment, but in a mostly good way. I think part of that comes from the diversity -- I can see women in burqas in the grocery store, same-sex couples walking down the street holding hands, a whole spectrum of skin colors in classes at my university -- which means there is lots of different stuff going on all the time.
Because of that (and because of the huge market here), you can find almost any activity or food you can imagine. Best of all, lots of it is in walking distance. I live smack in the middle of the kind of super livable neighborhood that Ruchi recently described. I love that there is good public transit (although I hate actually taking it). I feel like the city is very accessible -- easy to get around, hard to get lost in -- and that it was easy to find ourselves a little nest within it.
However, I've been thinking about this question a lot lately as I start to investigate potential post doc opportunities. There are so many things I love here, but the city has major drawbacks as well and those are starting to grate on me. The winter weather blows. A little topography would be nice. It's really expensive, so I feel like a lot of the cool stuff to do is out of reach. And although I said it was easy to find a little space for us, it has been difficult to make friends here. People from the university are so spread out that it's impractical to hang out with some of the students I'd like to build relationships with. It's easy to get lost in the crowd. But mostly, I'm really sick of my commute. Furthermore, I feel like it takes forever to get anywhere. And it's so damn hard to get out of the city to natural areas. Once you do, they are crowded with everyone else from the city. It'd be really cool to live someplace where a nice hike would be a day trip instead of a long weekend with reservations required three months in advance. Thus, I'm torn about whether I'd like to stay here longer or move on for the next stage of my career. Not that I think I'll have much control over it.
Thanks to Bean-Mom for the interesting questions! Readers, if would like me to interview you, let me know in the comments.
Good news
Ecogeoman would like you to know that he got a fellowship to pay his stipend next year! Since he intends to graduate before next school year is over, he's hoping that they'll let him start the fellowship early, which would relieve major stress since there may not be a TA for him this summer. Since he's foreign, he can't really work anywhere else, so we're worried he may not have any summer funding. Here's hoping for some flexibility.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
How convenient
Why is it that there used to be sick mother/baby combos on Grey's Anatomy pretty regularly before Addison left, and then suddenly there were none after she moved to California? So now she's visiting Seattle and there just happens to be a rare, complicated sick mother/baby case? This shows really waxes and wanes for me. It goes through phases of being compelling in a sloppy soap opera way and then it irritates the crap out of me by being just sloppy.
I should just stick to Lost, which was AWESOME. Seriously. Who are we supposed to trust? Did Locke fix it? Is Faraday like Richard? Is Eloise going to tell us everything we want to know next week? I can't wait! And yet, I don't want to rush time. Such is life.
I should just stick to Lost, which was AWESOME. Seriously. Who are we supposed to trust? Did Locke fix it? Is Faraday like Richard? Is Eloise going to tell us everything we want to know next week? I can't wait! And yet, I don't want to rush time. Such is life.
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